EQ (Emotional Quotient) is a fairly new and important topic. In 2009 the book “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” was printed and written by Travis Bradbury and Jean Graves. It is a fantastic expression of EQ; what it is and how it affects all that we do.
EQ is referred to as the ability to recognize, evaluate and regulate your own emotions, the emotions of those around you and groups of people. Which basically means having the ability to enter a room, conversation or relationship recognizing your own emotions while also being able to perceive the temperament of that situation. A higher EQ will be mindful of their words and posture so that they can bring cohesive value to the situation vs. a lower EQ that would tend to miss the social cues and their own emotions thus bringing more harm to the situation than actual good.
So, why does a high EQ even matter? To answer that let’s look at the attributes of a low EQ and I believe that answer will be self-explanatory:
- Inability to control emotions.
- Clueless of the feelings of others.
- Trouble maintaining friendships.
- Emotionally inappropriate: content and timing.
- Trouble being sympathetic.
- Lack of appropriate volume control.
- Strangely unmoved by sad or emotional events.
Hmmm…..whether in family, business, or community involvements it appears that a low EQ is going to have really negative outcomes!
The attributes of a high EQ are quite the opposite!
- The ability to relate to a wide range of people.
- Understand the need for a balanced life.
- Know how to express gratefulness.
- Recognize areas where they need to grow; acknowledge it.
- Ability to navigate change well.
- Recognize the need for timing and tone in all conversations.
- Able to own mistakes; apologize.
So, if you took an inventory of the past year, where might you rate your EQ? Low? Mid-range? High? It is important to have this awareness especially if you feel that you continue to hit relational and occupational road blocks and can’t seem to figure out why.
Well, there is hope! Here are a few tips to help you grow in the area of your EQ via an article by the writer and blogger Karla Jennings:
- Become more self-aware. Serving as the core area of emotional intelligence, being able to identify how you feel throughout the day, as well as who you are, helps you make important life choices. Put your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs on paper. By doing this, you’re able to put things into perspective, which helps you become more aware of who you are, what you want and why. Knowing how to express your emotions can often help you manage them in a proper and healthy way.
- Work to gain empathy. Empathy is extremely powerful and essential to raising your emotional intelligence. Increasing your ability to empathize can help you get closer to others, gain their support when you need it, and potentially defuse high-charged conflicts in your professional and personal life. Be aware and listen carefully to what they are telling you. You know you are becoming more empathetic when you’re able to decipher and recognize the feelings of others.
- Gain Self-regulation. Part of growing as a person involves acquiring new skills while experiencing new relationships. By learning to control and manage your emotions, especially your impulses, you are able to prepare yourself for emotional self-management. People who self-regulate think before they act, have the ability to say no, and shift their thoughts to prevent their emotions from controlling them. They are self-aware enough to know their strengths, weaknesses, and are willing to look at themselves honestly
- Grow in Social Skills. Another way of raising your emotional intelligence is being able to easily talk and connect with others. Being socially responsible demonstrates that you really care about others and not just about your own personal gain. Individuals who focus on the development of others rather than their own, practice emotional intelligence as well as humility.
Don’t we all want to find joy, success, and satisfaction in our personal and professional life? Of course we do! Take a little time to think about your interactions with others and if you see a need to grow. Begin to be mindful of the 4 steps I’ve provided for you and begin to soar in a whole new way! To your success!