I started blogging many years ago to take the simple experiences of life and see how, if I paid attention, they were profound in my life.  Seasons and Assignments has been my way to express my thoughts and hopes, hurts and growth, and deeper messages for over 8 years. I have appreciated those who have followed me and my thoughts.  

Today I am feeling that I must express a deeper honesty as I watch what is happening on the political scene and as I continue to be astounded by the lack of kindness in our country.

I need to engage you in an honest conversation.  If you have not walked a mile in my shoes then I actually don’t want a response from you; but if you have~ I want a forum with you.

It was 1977, I was 17. I was celebrating my graduation by attending a “Keg Party” being held on someone’s property far from my hometown. Poor choice. Bad choice. My choice.

By 10:30 at night I had been “date raped” while I laid there passed out by drinking too much hard alcohol.  Those who have trusted me as a leader are now aghast and possibly standing in judgement, yet this is a truth of both my life and faith journey with God.

As a virgin I was devastated, broken, angry,  and disappointed in myself!!! 

WHY had I gone there? Why had I made myself so vulnerable? Oh Lord, …..I am broken.

It was even more shocking when I learned that I was pregnant weeks later………I was scared and in need of much council.  I was from a very religious family and I decided on my own that they would hate me and ask me to leave my home; I have learned over the years that was simply not true!

With nowhere else to go; or so I thought,  I went to Planned Parenthood where a nurse played into all my fears and encouraged me, if not pushed me to do the “right” thing as a single 17 year old to abort my baby; having a baby would ruin my future opportunities.  They assured me it would cost me nothing; they could get finances in 24 hours!! (imagine that!!!)

The following day I entered the waiting room and looked into the eyes of 16 other teens who had also been “advised” that Planned Parenthood could “fix’ this problem.  ALL of them had scared, sad faces and their eyes matched my own.

Following the “procedure” I saw them again in the recovery room; many of them crying, despondent, and seemingly broken.  NO mother ever wants to take the life of her baby! How does a young girl reconcile that choice?

As you vote this year and you STAND for women’s rights please be very careful not to assume that Planned Parenthood is all about women; they are not. They are about income!

I was never, ever offered counseling or any post checkup after the “procedure” Never a phone call……..nothing. They had already made their money off me! I was now very unnecessary, as were the 14 to 16 year old teen girls who visited their office almost every week.

What people never talk about is the sadness, depression, self- medication, and suicide that follows a young girl who is led into this “best choice for your life”….to take the life of your child. As a teen you are simply afraid….you don’t have enough maturity to have hindsite.

I wanted help, mature conversation, and support; but I was simply a financial commodity. NO Compassion, NO concern, and No help.

I spireled emotionally for years.

I bravely share all of this simply because in the arena of politics I am seeing women standing steadfast for Planned Parenthood without every really understanding what they are about………I  grieve that I had the “procedure”…..I wish I had given my child life and a healthy family…..I wish…..I wish…… I wish I’d have had a Pregnancy Resource Center to guide me rather than Planned Parenthood every day of my life.

God is my refuge; he has healed me and given me grace to heal and I am grateful everyday. I just please don’t want anyone assume you know the intent of Planned Parenthood……there is so much you do not know and do not want to know.

……only respond it you’ve stood in my shoes…..otherwise I appreciate your silence.