Building people up

We have choices to make~

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Can I be honest? There are a lot of sad and disruptive events taking place these days. There truly are concerns that have many people feeling unsettled and uncertain about their world, their leaders, and their futures. I have talked to many of them; they are feeling overwhelmed, feeling sad. There are days when I do as well.

Disheartening events impact us on every level: thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Violence inspires worry, fear, and anxiety. The anxiety created by current events is all-encompassing and can keep us from living fully. And that is my concern. Having such increased social media and television shows/Books that mirror the events in our world only make it more challenging to come up for air!

What steps can we take to help ourselves or those we care about to redirect their anxieties and use that energy in a fruitful, impacting way? Is there anything tangible that we can do? Well, what we know about fear and anxiety is that underneath it all is a lack of feeling a sense of control; being left at the effect of someone’s leadership choices, weather events, or other disruptive situations.

We cannot control all those factors but we can control a number of choices we make that would calm our concerns and build purpose in our lives. We can make some life changes that would give us peace in the midst of uncertain days.

First and foremost, find a place of worship.   Knowing that we have a God who is incredibly mindful of us, taking time to pray about the concerns in our hearts, and locking arms with others of strong faith will make an surprising and powerful difference in how you see the world.

Limit (I mean really limit) social media. By saying this I am not saying that we put our heads in the sand but seeing news stories over and over again is unhealthy. We know for sure that what the media reports is a steady diet of what is going wrong; we rarely hear a story of what’s going right. Do a daily “flyover” but try not to make social media a steady diet.

Keep a gratefulness journal each day. What went right? Where was kindness shown? Who did I help?  What made me laugh?  When we commit to looking for the good in each day it can literally change the way we see our circumstances.

Do something good for others. Give your time where you can impact your community in a positive way! No, we cannot change the whole world but we can make a difference in the community around us.

Always be sure to spend time with life-giving people; family and friends. Talk about things you can celebrate, appreciate, and enjoy. Try to stay out of a host of doomsday conversations; rather ignite hope and vision in one another.

Again, we cannot control all the elements in our world but we can take back control of how we choose to live and navigate our lives and behaviors!  Choose well, choose hope.

 

 I have told you these things so you may have peace in Me. In the world you will have much trouble. But take hope! I have power over the world!” John 16:33

 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

What will be said of Me?

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I have a wonderful privilege of gathering with some amazing women every other week to spend time talking about the things that we care deeply about.  We discuss the season of life we are presently in and look for quality ways to navigate the many challenges and opportunities we encounter everyday. We talk about learning to say our “best yes”, to make sure we find ways to re-fuel in order to be the best version of ourselves, and we look at focusing on those things we consider the highest priorities at this time, using them as a good filter when choosing how to best use our time.  These conversations are always rich and encouraging.

Last night we spent our time talking about Legacy.  We were all able to point to a person in our life who impacted us in a powerful way. Each one of us teared up simply talking about it! We could clearly see that without the gift of that person having touched our lives we would not be the women we are today.  Then we turned our attention to the fact that each one of us could be “that” person in someone’s life.  Down the road when a group of women gather, perhaps our name with be the one mentioned when expressing appreciation for key impact on their lives.  This is what leaving a Legacy looks like.  Lasting impact.

In a small study written by Dr. James Dobson, he expresses Legacy this way:

“Legacy is what future generations recall about you. You are a patriarch or a matriarch and your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren will take what you have done with your life and build on their own lives.  It is the continuation of your ministry and influence (both positive and negative) beyond your lifetime, reflecting what you value and what you believe is important.”

Wow, does that mean that the choices, behaviours, values, and traditions we do ( or don’t) intentionally choose will be passed on to our future family? You bet!  Think about your family of origin; is there a legacy you feel compelled to carry forward?  Perhaps that legacy was unhealthy and you now have the chance to make choices that will turn it around in your generation.  Choosing to leave a good and lasting Legacy requires intentionality, long-term vision, strong values, and time spent building rich relationships.  We all have a choice as to the Legacy we leave behind.

Look at your life today and answer this question: “Who influenced you to be who you are today and how does their Legacy encourage you to leave behind a Legacy that continues to bear good fruit in the lives of those you dearly love? Take time to write out the type of Legacy you would like to leave behind and then make choices consistent with your hearts desire.  🙂

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

The Words We Say~

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When I was a little girl we used to take long road trips in the big family car.  My parents would get us up early; often before the sun was up to get on the road with the promise of syrup covered pancakes further down the road. Sometimes we would return from our trips late, late at night; everyone would seem to fall asleep~ Except me ( I can’t sleep in moving vehicles!) and my father who would always drive.  As a little girl I had anxiety that my dad would also doze off as the driver so I would sit behind him and try to continually engage in conversation with him. I needed to know he was wide awake!! I think I thought I was somehow doing him a favor~~I am sure I must have driven him crazy!!  I remember one particular time that he turned to me and said “You just talk too much!!”  He had every right to say that; but my little heart was wounded that day.  The OUCH of words.  My father is a wonderful, wonderful man, one of my greatest supporters in my life, but he must have been so exasperated with his chatty daughter!!  Interestingly enough though, I still remember how it made me feel as a little girl.   I remember that it made me wonder if what I said held value.

Our words.

I can remember as a young mother mindlessly making statements to my sons in frustration or weariness. These words were irritable and negative.  I am sure that these words hurt their feelings. These words did not bring “Life”. Looking back I probably owe them many apologies for things I said in haste!

Our words.

It’s funny how our words can impact lives so deeply, for good and for harm. Statements like ” don’t be stupid”, “you’re just not good at that”, “you’re a pest”, or “can’t you be more like  ___________” are so harmful!  These words cannot bear fruit in anyone.  Sadly enough, sometimes we say these things to ourselves long before anyone ever says them to us!! These words cause us to become downcast and insecure; hopeless!

Hawk Nelson has a new song out called “WORDS” where some of the words say:

Words can build us up, words can break us down,

Start a fire in our hearts or put it out!

Let my words be life……………….

However, the impact of statements like ” yes, you can!”, “You are full of potential, “I enjoy being with you”, and “sky’s the limit for you!” have equally as powerful an impact on us! These words breathe life helping us to dream and believe in the possibilities; hope filled!

How do you speak to your spouse, your children, co-workers, or extended family?  Do your words bring life? Are you intentional and mindful about what you say? That little old “Golden Rule” still applies “Do (say) unto others as you would have them do (say) unto you! 🙂

But if you need a little more back up the bible is full of verses on the power of the words we say ~ so it must be an important issue for us all to address!!

Proverbs 16:24        Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Matthew 15:18       But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Proverbs 25:11       A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Colossians 4:6       Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Life is full of challenges for us all~ we all want to be around people who breathe life with their words….so let’s BE those people! 🙂