choices

I don’t want to get up!

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Our alarm “screams aloud” at 5:15 every weekday morning; this begins a process of decision-making for me. As I lay cozy in my bed I am more in love with my pillow than at any other point in the day and I am talking to myself. “ I could go to the gym later today”, “I worked out hard yesterday so I’m fine.” “I’ll just stay home and do stretches a little later.”   I laugh because I have this little dialogue so often knowing full well that if I don’t get up and go to the gym at the start of the day I probably won’t go at all!

My husband, on the other hand, has already made the decision that he IS going to the gym each morning. Greg recognizes the incredible value of self-care habits and is committed to taking good care of himself. I, too, know and experience the value of regular exercise. When I get up and head to the gym by 6am my day always feels better; I feel better!

So why is it that when I know something is so valuable to my life physically and emotionally I still have to “talk myself into that good decision”? It makes no logical sense! But isn’t that the way we can all be? I know taking time to be reflective each day; spending time in the Word and taking time to  journal is so cup filling. I know that eating well and exercising causes me to live with greater health and wellness. I know that taking the time to build quality relationships for challenge, accountability, and support is key to my experiencing community. Those are just a few things I KNOW.

I am committed to saying “Yes, I will” to all of the above truths in greater measure in 2018. How about you? What do you want to say, “Yes, I will “ to this New Year? What important intentions have been missing from your daily routines that IF you committed to them would make a big difference in your life?

How about it? Let’s start this year with a fresh focus, attitude, and willingness to say

“Yes, I will”!

Build Your Family with the End in Mind~

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Last week our Coachwell Team attended the Bend Venture Conference; it was a wealth of information! Part of the event was a seminar entitled “Build Your Company With the End in Mind”   It was so good to talk about making decisions in your company as early as possible with your team to set a course that will your team fired up and committed to the legacy you desire to build.

As I was pondering the statements that had been made concerning how to “begin” a legacy company my mind wandered into realizing that this challenge is the same with our families! Do we truly even think about the “end” as we are busy building our precious families?

What if we built our families with the end in mind?

How would that change the choices you would make with your family today?

Let’s consider a few scenarios:

If you want to be a family who are known for compassion you would need to regularly, as a family, become involved with situations where compassion needs to be applied. Food kitchens, homeless shelters, homes for unwed mothers, and helping your elderly neighbors would be just a few ways you could invite your children to “learn” the beauty of compassion right alongside you.

How about wanting to build a legacy as a family of givers?   I imagine you would want to engage your entire family early on in tithing, missions giving, random acts of financial giving, and financially helping in your local community projects.  There are so many ways to help! Often parents give without their children being involved in the process at all.

I can remember at Christmas every year my parents would gather we girls together and we would use some of our own small coins along with our parents finances to build a special box for our very poor neighbors down the street.  My parents even had us give a piece of our own clothing for the box.  Every Christmas eve we quietly drove to the house and left the box on the front porch to surprise them in the morning.  Believe it or not this was a real joy-filled experience for us all and it helped us tangibly learn to be givers.

Is there something(s) that you can begin to engage your family in together to create a legacy; with the end in mind?

Take a few minutes! If you consider what it means to “build your family with the end in mind” then determine what that “end” is and  begin building that into the DNA of your family life even now! It’s never to late to start!!

Happy Building!

We have choices to make~

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Can I be honest? There are a lot of sad and disruptive events taking place these days. There truly are concerns that have many people feeling unsettled and uncertain about their world, their leaders, and their futures. I have talked to many of them; they are feeling overwhelmed, feeling sad. There are days when I do as well.

Disheartening events impact us on every level: thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Violence inspires worry, fear, and anxiety. The anxiety created by current events is all-encompassing and can keep us from living fully. And that is my concern. Having such increased social media and television shows/Books that mirror the events in our world only make it more challenging to come up for air!

What steps can we take to help ourselves or those we care about to redirect their anxieties and use that energy in a fruitful, impacting way? Is there anything tangible that we can do? Well, what we know about fear and anxiety is that underneath it all is a lack of feeling a sense of control; being left at the effect of someone’s leadership choices, weather events, or other disruptive situations.

We cannot control all those factors but we can control a number of choices we make that would calm our concerns and build purpose in our lives. We can make some life changes that would give us peace in the midst of uncertain days.

First and foremost, find a place of worship.   Knowing that we have a God who is incredibly mindful of us, taking time to pray about the concerns in our hearts, and locking arms with others of strong faith will make an surprising and powerful difference in how you see the world.

Limit (I mean really limit) social media. By saying this I am not saying that we put our heads in the sand but seeing news stories over and over again is unhealthy. We know for sure that what the media reports is a steady diet of what is going wrong; we rarely hear a story of what’s going right. Do a daily “flyover” but try not to make social media a steady diet.

Keep a gratefulness journal each day. What went right? Where was kindness shown? Who did I help?  What made me laugh?  When we commit to looking for the good in each day it can literally change the way we see our circumstances.

Do something good for others. Give your time where you can impact your community in a positive way! No, we cannot change the whole world but we can make a difference in the community around us.

Always be sure to spend time with life-giving people; family and friends. Talk about things you can celebrate, appreciate, and enjoy. Try to stay out of a host of doomsday conversations; rather ignite hope and vision in one another.

Again, we cannot control all the elements in our world but we can take back control of how we choose to live and navigate our lives and behaviors!  Choose well, choose hope.

 

 I have told you these things so you may have peace in Me. In the world you will have much trouble. But take hope! I have power over the world!” John 16:33

 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Holidays didn’t go the way I had planned!

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Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined I would find myself in the Emergency Room late at night the day after Christmas!  I had been experiencing sharp pains in my upper abdomen, right side, for four days but I brushed it off to the effect of a busy schedule, holiday foods, lots of lifting my precious grandchildren: I was sure it would go away “real soon”.   After four days the pain was really getting my attention!

After some discussion with my husband, he felt we ought to at least get it checked out so we headed for the Emergency Room.  The night didn’t unfold the way I had planned but rather it began a 2 night hospital stay with surgery to remover my gallbladder!  Seriously, not in my holiday plans!  I still had company at my house!!

After the surgery was complete and I enjoyed sweet visits, calls and responses from caring friends and family members, it was when I sent my husband home for the night that I lay there in the stillness of the hospital room surrounded with strange lights, beeps, and an occasional nurse coming in to check my blood pressure.   In the silence of that room I had an important opportunity to assess my life, to throw a wide gaze over my life and decide whether or not I am living the way I know is best in all my Life Accounts.

It’s interesting how vulnerable one can feel in a medical institution.  Being a patient is such a stark reality of how fast life (or health) can be taken.  In the Emergency Room when we arrived there had been numerous accidents on the icy streets of Bend.  A number of folks had passed away, numerous others were badly injured.  I couldn’t help but to be faced with the preciousness of “life”.

In the quite of my room I pondered the use of my time, my finances, my talents, and my energy.  I was forced to consider that if my situation had been more serious would I have had any regrets?  What would I change in the coming year?  How would I take better care of myself?  The opportunity to ponder my answers and make fresh committments was actually a gift to me.   Though I am not grateful for my gallbladder attack, I am grateful to have been given a little “wake up call”.

As a Life Coach I do try to live by the same values that I encourage my leaders to abide by: focus on health, priorities, relationships, self-care/growth, spiritual life, and being engaged in “cup-filling” activities.  However, it’s easy to say “well, this is just a busy season! I’ll get back to my good disciplines soon!”   And then one season runs into another and our busy, over-extended life becomes a life-style.  Right? We’ve all been there!

Having surgery was not even in my wheel-house of possibilities when I looked toward the coming holiday season; a total surprise!  With the help of amazing nurses (especially those precious gals who work the night shift) and caring and supportive family; I am on the mend.

As I assessed my life there were many areas that, frankly, I would not have changed; it felt good to lay there knowing that my family, friends, and colleagues do know that I care for them; they are a priority in my life and calendar.  Physically I need to be more mindful of myself and thus, I am putting key appointments on my calendar even now.  I always want to grow more in my relationship with God; as I lay there in the quiet I pondered all I still wanted to know and understand about God; I will dig deeper this year.

My opportunity to “take some time to ponder my life” was a little bit dramatic, but you have the chance to do the same as you enter this new year that is full of promise and possibilities!  Where are you in your key life accounts?  What’s lacking? What’s working?  Where do you want to be a year from now??  Take time to ponder these things by choice and not by a surprise crisis, as I experienced!

Wishing you a fruitful, impacting, balanced, healthy year ahead!

Happy New Year!

 

 

The incredible power of love~

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I am constantly on the search for inspiration as I walk through my life.  So often I’ve thought “Wow, there was a real lesson in that!”   Recently Greg and I had the chance to sneak away to Maui for a week; I fully expected to find multiple sources of inspiration, especially in that setting!

My inspiration came in a huge and unexpected way; caused me to pause and watch the incredible power of love.

We woke up early packed and ready to head out on a catamaran trip to the Island of Lanai where we would have a chance to snorkel and enjoy a morning of incredible views.  After checking in at the dock we were asked to wait in a line until everyone had checked in.  While waiting I watched a family coming down the dock withtheir teenage daughter ( probably 13 or 14) who was in a wheelchair and experiencing some form of palsy that caused her rigid body to shake uncontrollably without ceasing.

I tried not to stare but found myself fascinated by the amount of love that was expressed to this young gal.  Since there wasn’t a ramp on the boat Dad lifted his precious girl ( who was almost as tall as him) and gently placed her in a seat where she could feel the wind and see the ocean.  Minutes later Mom proceeded to, carefully and with precision, attempt to feed her precious daughter while the shaking in her body continued.

As the catamaran proceeded to the Island of Lanai I watch as both mom and dad would sweetly talk with their girl, move a tuft of her hair from her eyes, and wrap their arms around her shoulder.  All interactions with their daughter was through her eyes as she could not speak; her glee would show through her crooked smile.  There was so much love expressed between them all. There was never a moment of irritation, exasperation, or frustration.

Upon arriving in the cove near Lanai, I was surprised as both parents, instead of getting all their own snorkeling gear on, were wrapping their girl in a  floatation device and proceeded to take her into the water with them.  It was incredibly special to observe the effort it took to make this experience a reality for their daughter; so selfless.

Wet and bundled in towels, we all headed back toward the Island of Maui.  Sitting in front of me, this precious family snuggled  tightly together….  then I saw the most amazing thing.  Mom leaned in a wrapped her arms around her daughter, singing softley in her ear.  For the first time all the shaking in her body stopped.  I felt tears in my eyes as I could see the rich sense of calm that came over her rigid body; I was amazed at the soothing power of genuine love, selfless love, a costly love.

Sometimes loving others isn’t easy, it can be costly, tiring, challenging, or even confusing.  But LOVE is always worth it.  There is power in an authentic, selfless love.  Watching these parents go the extra mile with their child whose entire wellbeing is dependant on their choice to love and support her in every way, challenged me to dig deeper when I am challenged to love ~ to go the extra mile.

Couldn’t we all use more moving example of love?  I say “yes”!

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For Women Only!

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If you have followed my blog for any length of time then you know that there are certain themes that I will write on time and time again; hopefully expressing thoughts in fresh ways. The “rule of seven” tells us that a person generally needs to hear a concept at least 7 times before really grabbing ahold of the concept and applying it to their lives.  So please indulge me as I take another stab at a truth that I know to be very, very important!

LADIES!  I give you permission today to take as good care of yourself as you do for all the others in your lives!

As a young woman, I was a pastor’s wife, friend, sister, daughter, church volunteer, school volunteer, house-keeper, cook, and mama to two active boys; how I wish I had been told how impacting it would have been if I had figured out some way to establish self care  in those days! So often I was exhausted, unhealthy, and even a bit isolated in my closest relationships….I was just so busy.

Let me explain Self-Care a little better:

“Self care includes any intentional action an individual takes to care for their physical, mental, relational, and emotional health.”
Good food, water, exercise, and good sleep patterns are  key to maintaining vibrant energy and outlook.
Life giving friends, healthy boundaries, quality support,  and cup-filling activities help to keep our emotional health strong.
Having proven ways to relax, taking time to journal thoughts and concerns, growing in the area of faith, listening to positive information rather than focusing on the negative, and learning to nap are all elements that support sustainable mental wellness.
Building good friendships, gathering with other women in your season of life, enjoying “girl time” where you can laugh deeply, and having a “posse” of women who you know have your back, strengthens our sense of connectedness and relational health.
Here’s an action step:
If you look at your calendar, personal and professional, and you don’t see yourself represented there on any given day–it’s time!
* a spa day
* a girl’s night out
* a nap
*time at the gym
* time with God
*time with a good book
*hiking in the great outdoors
*crafting
* and saying no to some good things to use your greatest energy for the BEST things.
10WaysToSayNo         ( just for you)
Permission Granted Again. ( you are worth it )
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10 Tips To Help You Become An Unhappy Person

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We have all met people who are simply unhappy…..all the time.  What I have learned over time is that there are similarities between people who are chronically unhappy.  I would like to give you 10 quick steps to become an unhappy person yourself, read on!

1.  Look for the worst in every situation. Point out what’s not working, what’s not being done correctly, and why these things will never change.

2.  Worry about things you cannot change. Spend sleepless nights worrying about things you didn’t cause and cannot fix.  Worry about climate change and the government. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what will go wrong rather than what could go right.

3.  Believe that most everyone cannot be trusted. Watch cautiously for people to want something from you.  Believe that everyone in your life is telling lies about you or to you.

4.  Spend enormous amounts of time on Social Media.  Compare your unhappy life with everyone else’s perfect life. Allow yourself to resent the happiness that others are experiencing. Compare everything from your body size to your pocketbook; recognize that life is just not fair.

5.  Refuse to exercise or eat well. Choose a sedentary life and fill your body with foods that make you feel tired and unhealthy.

6.  Fill your conversations with gossip and criticism. Spend the bulk of your time putting others down, making fun, and telling untruths.

7.  Set unrealistic goals and then fail at them all. To be truly unhappy, put undo pressure on yourself to real goals that stretch too far, too fast, and too costly.  Once you have failed at these you can berate yourself for the failure.

8.  Don’t get needed sleep.  Stay up late into the night on your computer and television. Sleep deprivation can be incredibly helpful on your goal to being a truly unhappy person.

9.  Worry about what everyone thinks about you. Fear anyone’s opinion, assume others don’t approve of you, and be certain that all those nameless, faceless people are talking poorly of you.

10.  Choose to do life without faith in an amazing God.  Allow yourself to believe that you were NOT created for a purpose.  Believe the lie that you are on this life journey alone.  Truly unhappy people are people without hope.

OR

Choose Happiness!

Do the opposite of each step!

Life is short~Live and love every day!

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