granddaughter

A Question I Couldn’t Ignore~

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I spend a great deal of time in my career as a Leadership Coach asking powerful questions to help leaders gain greater perspective, vet out limited thinking, and to help them to see their leadership in a fresh way.

Recently, I was faced with a challenging question from an unexpected source! I have the  privilege of having my granddaughter come to my house every Thursday for an hour for her “lessons”. For the first 30 minutes we learn to draw and to paint, for the second 30 seconds I try to give her piano lessons on my keyboard. It’s a sweet time as you can imagine.

This past week, as she silently painted, Scout put her hand on my hand and asked me a profound question: “Mimi, you will be at my wedding when I grow up won’t you?”( she is 4 1/2)

I just turned 60 about a week ago so that was a poignant question. I could tell her I hope so, I could tell her I want to, or I could tell her I will do everything I can to make sure that I can be there!

I told her the latter. With that promise from her Mimi comes a real responsibility to do just that ~ to do EVERYTHING I can, in my power and decisions, to be here for her.

Certainly, there are things that catch us by surprise in our health and circumstances; some things are beyond our control. Yet, when this little darlin’ asked me that sweet question I realized I needed to shore up some areas in my life to fulfill my commitment to her. She is depending on me to be there.

I am committed to be sure to get the check ups I need , watch what I eat better, get needed exercise , work on getting a good nights sleep, using my time well, and taking richer time to pray and ponder. Those are things I can control.

What about you? Are you precious to someone who wants to you be in their life over all the seasons? If you were asked a poignant question just as I was would you be challenged to make some changes to do all you can do to “be there”?

Let’s do all WE can for those who are counting on us!

 

What are you trying to say?

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This past week I had the joy of babysitting one of my precious granddaughters, Scout Jubilee, 2 days in a row.  We had such fun together, however, we also faced a real challenge!  Scout is now a big talker, firmly expressing her thoughts about many different elements of her little life.  To her, she is speaking very clearly and certainly loud enough for her Mimi to fully understand what she is trying to convey.

Imagine her dismay when she looked into my very confused face and heard me say numerous times “Scout, Mimi doesn’t understand what you are saying.” Scout kept saying over and over “Ne Ne” and I kept asking her about different options to unlock the meaning of the words that clearly held a strong meaning for her!  After about and hour of trying to unlock the mystery I decided she was probably a little tired so I would kiss her and carry her upstairs for her afternoon nap.  The moment I headed up the stairs Scout started to say “Ne ne” all over again; but this time with her little head lying exhausted on my shoulder! And then it hit me, this little darling had been trying so hard to let me know she was very tired and wanted to go “night, night”!!

Because of my inability to clarify her words, I completely missed what she was longing to express! ( she slept for a little over 3 hours, by the way!)

I have pondered this experience with Scout and began to wonder how often we are all on the expressing side and the understanding side of a conversation.  I wonder how often we fail to express our heartfelt thoughts in a way the someone can truly understand what we are longing to say?  I wonder how often we fail to hear the real meaning of the words someone is trying to express to us?

Engaging in quality conversations can be a real art sometimes and I believe if we really want to understand someone else, if we really want to be able to respond in such a way as to make a difference, then we need to keep clarifying until we can see or hear that we have “got it”!! Are there any conversations in your relationships that are needing further clarification?  Are there questions needing to be asked for greater understanding?  The efforts to understand will make a big difference.

“The single biggest problem in a conversation is illusion that one has taken place!”  George Bernard Shaw

What will be said of Me?

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I have a wonderful privilege of gathering with some amazing women every other week to spend time talking about the things that we care deeply about.  We discuss the season of life we are presently in and look for quality ways to navigate the many challenges and opportunities we encounter everyday. We talk about learning to say our “best yes”, to make sure we find ways to re-fuel in order to be the best version of ourselves, and we look at focusing on those things we consider the highest priorities at this time, using them as a good filter when choosing how to best use our time.  These conversations are always rich and encouraging.

Last night we spent our time talking about Legacy.  We were all able to point to a person in our life who impacted us in a powerful way. Each one of us teared up simply talking about it! We could clearly see that without the gift of that person having touched our lives we would not be the women we are today.  Then we turned our attention to the fact that each one of us could be “that” person in someone’s life.  Down the road when a group of women gather, perhaps our name with be the one mentioned when expressing appreciation for key impact on their lives.  This is what leaving a Legacy looks like.  Lasting impact.

In a small study written by Dr. James Dobson, he expresses Legacy this way:

“Legacy is what future generations recall about you. You are a patriarch or a matriarch and your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren will take what you have done with your life and build on their own lives.  It is the continuation of your ministry and influence (both positive and negative) beyond your lifetime, reflecting what you value and what you believe is important.”

Wow, does that mean that the choices, behaviours, values, and traditions we do ( or don’t) intentionally choose will be passed on to our future family? You bet!  Think about your family of origin; is there a legacy you feel compelled to carry forward?  Perhaps that legacy was unhealthy and you now have the chance to make choices that will turn it around in your generation.  Choosing to leave a good and lasting Legacy requires intentionality, long-term vision, strong values, and time spent building rich relationships.  We all have a choice as to the Legacy we leave behind.

Look at your life today and answer this question: “Who influenced you to be who you are today and how does their Legacy encourage you to leave behind a Legacy that continues to bear good fruit in the lives of those you dearly love? Take time to write out the type of Legacy you would like to leave behind and then make choices consistent with your hearts desire.  🙂

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

Mimi~~

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This past week rocked my world.  A tiny child weighing 7.1lb swept my feet right out from under me.    I am changed by her arrival in many interesting ways.   I remember that overwhelming love that swept over me when I first looked into the eyes of my newborn sons.  I felt of mix of joy and also of pain; this new love was so huge that all my fears and anxieties of their safety, health, faith,and future crashed in on my “new mommy” heart.  Will I make mistakes?  Will I know how to love them well?   It was all so new.

This little angel caused some of that overwhelming love to come sweeping back through my heart! Such a big love!! But there was also a new emotion; watching my son becoming a daddy himself; seeing that overwhelming love Dave has for his little girl, causing him to literally feel sick at the very thought of not knowing how to best care for her.  Also watching him love his bride with such rich compassion; it has been astounding for me as a mother.

Another emotion that erupted in my heart was joy in watching my daughter in law ( and friend) make every effort to birth a healthy child~ she worked extremely hard.  I was reminded of my first days as a mommy as I watched Azlan love on her precious little girl, so attentive and kind;she is a very special mommy, I’m very proud of her.

They chose the name Mimi for me; a banner which I will proudly wear. I will honor my responsibility to this little life in every way I can.  And after kissing her sweet cheeks hundreds of times I will tickle her, snuggle her, sing to her, whisper loving thoughts to her, pray constantly for her, and love her parents.

Scout Jubilee Salciccioli, I adore you.

 

The impact of Nanny and Eva~

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My office is filled with decorations, games, gifts, and baby items as I prepare  to give my precious Daughter in Law, Azlan, a baby shower.  Not at any moment do I actually forget that I will be a grandma soon, but these items do serve as a daily reminder to me.

When I think about the kind of Grandma I want to be I find myself thinking about the Grandmothers that impacted my life; they set the bar pretty high for me.

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My Nanny was musical; she played the Organ in her home beautifully. I always remember lots of home-cooked food; she liked to make jello salads! I remember sitting in front of her silver Christmas tree watching the wheel of color changing hues, thus changing the color of the tree.  I also remember an old picture that showed Jesus standing at a door welcoming all those who would willing enter.  The verse at the bottom said “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”  My Nanny loved flowers.  I can remember many times playing dolls in her backyard filled with sunshine and the smell of roses. I remember how my Nanny used to send me letters in her sweet handwriting.   I remember all these things.  One thing I do not remember, ever, was my Nanny being angry or harsh with me.  I can’t recall her ever raising her voice to me at any time.  I deeply appreciate that about her. I want to be that kind of grandma.

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My grandma Eva had a contagious smile, she was a joyful person.  I remember taking walks with her to feed the donkeys down the street, Irish music playing in her home, and the three-pronged tiny stool where I would sit in her living room and listen to her engage in interesting conversations.  I remember picking figs and chasing squirrels in her backyard, and I remember that I always ended up with a “Pixie” haircut by the time I would head home after “my week” with grandma!  I remember all these things.
What I do not remember, ever, was my Grandma Eva ever being too busy to talk to me.  Eva never made me feel like I was in the way or a bother to her, just the opposite, she made me feel incredibly valuable and loved.  I deeply appreciate that about her.  I want to be that kind of Grandma.

The bar has been set high for me. However, because of my grandmothers’ impact on my life I believe I will be mindful to make my grandchildren feel as I did!

Who has impacted the person you are?  Who set the bar high for you? Take time to remember and appreciate those that poured into your life; honor their impact on your  life by returning the favor to those around you.

Our Little Girl~

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I’ve only known for a month, only a month, and yet my heart melts knowing she is on her way.  I imagine her little nose and a sweet mix of her parents features; this make me smile. She will change our family forever.  Our first grandchild. 🙂

My heart longs for her life to be full of joy, peace, laughter, and safety. Yet, I know she will experience challenges and sadness as she grows into the amazing woman God has designed her to be. Because of this, I will bathe her life in prayer and along with her parents, reminding her again and again that she was designed by a God for a meaningful purpose.

………and then……….I will spoil her, play with her, read to her, cook with her, play Hide n Seek with her, pray with her, dance with her, sing with her, count stars with her, color with her, play make believe with her, ride bikes with her, and attempt to kiss away every tear!

Most of all, I will trust God for her sweet little life because I know He is the one who created her, knows every hair on her sweet little head, and loves her, already, more than I can even fathom!

So, sweet little one~ we await your arrival.  🙂

“Strawberry creams and wonderful dreams,

Ladylike airs and teddy bears,

Fairy tales and wedding veils,

That’s what granddaughters are made of.”