The Noose of Regret~

We all have regrets.

As each of us looks over the landscape of our lives we will, occasionally or often, wince when we recall poor job choices, hurt filled relationships, missed opportunities,  and poor financial decisions.  Everyone, as they grow older, has an opportunity to look back with hindsight and consider how we could have better navigated numerous areas of our lives…all of us.

Early in our marriage, with a 2-year-old and while I was 7 months pregnant, Greg and I moved far from family to pursue a new ministry role.  Everyone was supportive, there was excitement about the role we were being given and the impact we had the potential to make in that small community.

We went with the best of intentions but, regrettably, it was a pain filled season for our little family and set in motion a series of challenging situations that nearly broke us in many ways.  Greg and I have often looked back at those choices and say ” we would never make that same choice today”!

Wounded and a bit battered, we had a choice to live in the past and walk away from our passion and calling or choose to learn from it, forgive, and let it go.  We chose the latter but it did take some time to feel fully whole again.

Today I would clearly say that we probably learned more in those trenches then at any other time in our life ~ those we would not like a repeat performance.  God is good to redeem our past regrets; to make “beauty for ashes”.   Regret could have been like a noose around our neck and kept us from the joy of doing what we love to do today!

So, what is regret?  Regret is a negative emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made.  Nothing about walking through life this way is healthy; we must let go!

Today~  what’s got it’s grip on you?  What do you regret that’s keeping you from new starts, fresh dreams, re-newed passion, or fresh change?  What kind of cyclical self-talk do you automatically fall into when faced with moving on and moving forward?

Consider letting go, learning from the choices you made, forgiving yourself and/or others, and look toward the future with great hope and anticipation.  Sometimes you made have to get up and make this choice everyday until you begin to feel free! I know I had to!

How about moving forward?  How about letting go?  How about watching as God so creatively and lovingly makes “beauty for ashes” in your life?

Choose to experience a new season today! Decide to let go! 🙂

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I cried again today~

 

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Grief is an interesting beast.  Grief sneaks up on us through a smell, a look, a song, or even in dreams.  Experiencing “loss” is something we will all endure in our lives causing us all to walk through different levels of grief.

Today I saw that People Magazine wrote a short story about my nephew who was taken from us over 5 years ago.  It was tough to see the story in print. I cried.

During the first year of grief I was sad and angry at God for having this sadness as part of our family’s story.  How?? Why??  I raged inside.  I cried a lot. Then God began to speak to my heart; asking me to trust him with the questions and the grief ~ He is so good. But the tears would still fall.

Over the years I have cried at the oddest times, it just happens.  Oceans remind me of him, homeless people ( for whom he had great compassion) remind me of him, electronic music reminds me of him, his nieces remind me of him ~ He’s always just a thought away and he is always missed.

Today I cried again.  I know it won’t be the last time, grief is kind of like that.

http://www.people.com/article/california-entrepreneur-covers-up-murder?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag