accountability

Tell Someone!

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2015 was a good year.

As my husband and I reminisced during the holiday season we both expressed how thankful we were for memories made, goals achieved, lessons learned, and challenges addressed. We navigated sadnesses and spent  glorious hours with our children and grandchildren.  We say goodbye to 2015 thankful for all our blessings.

About 4 years ago I wrote in my yearly Life Plan the goal of creating a Woman’s Event in my hometown. I wanted to help women engage in rich conversations about their lives, direction, challenges, and personal goals.  I had the tools, I was full of ideas but…………I didn’t tell anyone nor did I ask anyone to keep me accountable to accomplish the goal.  It never happened!

Last year, I hesitated as I put the same goal on my yearly Life Plan. This time I  proceeded to share the idea with my husband and Coachwell teammates.  As the year comes to a close I have to say that the Women’s Event that we created, offered, and accomplished has to be one of the highlights of my year.  What a wonderful opportunity to spend time with amazing women, reconnecting with past relationships, and starting to help them get some fresh traction in their life goals!  The key to accomplishing this goal?

Accountability!

2016 is just days away.  Do you have any un-achieved goals in your life? A priority that needs intentional time and attention? Do you have a dream that’s  covered in dust?  Perhaps this is your year to gain some traction by setting the goal, building the plan, AND gaining accountability from those you trust!  Just imagine reading through the plan you cautiously created at the end of 2015 following the holidays next year.  Imagine that you are celebrating the accomplishment of completing the goal!

Grab a little “quiet time” as this year comes to a close.  Grab a journal or notebook, take time to think, pray, and consider all that is in your heart..then…begin to bravely write your goals for the year, those that you’ve been so hesitant about until now.  Within the next two weeks share your plan with one or two trusted individuals; allow them to keep you accountable throughout the year.  You will be surprised at the traction you will have as you gain inspiration from those who want to see you win AND you will enjoy celebrating all the challenges you’ve overcome along the way!!

2016 is a fresh slate, what would be a WIN for you in 2017?

Be brave! Tell Somebody! 🙂

Happy New Year!

Accountable to Whom?

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Years ago, wanting to lose a bit of weight, I began attending Weight Watcher meetings which included both inspiring lessons on food preparation and the dreaded Weigh In!!  I would watch women take off almost every item of clothing before standing on the scale; wanting so much to see that the numbers had gone down! Through that program I lost almost 50 lbs.  What I learned through this process was how powerful it was to have weekly accountability for the food choices I had made~ that weekly scale was a powerful point of accountability and it enabled me to be successful.  I will be honest, If there hadn’t been a weigh-in each week with one of the Weight Watcher leaders I probably wouldn’t have lost as much weight as I did.  Accountability can be a very powerful tool in our lives!

There are many areas in our lives where we would all do better with supportive accountability. Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution or a fresh committment to change an area of your life or behaviour only to find that the depth of your committment gradually became less and less; possible even abandoning the challenge all together!  What might those situations have looked like with a trusted accountability partner?  I imagine, for all of us, we would have experienced significantly more successes.

So how might we FIND an Accountability Partner?

1.  Determine what you need.  What are the things you need help to accomplish?  What goals have laid dormant for way too long?   What things tend to entangle you? Poor finances, lust, overeating, overworking, etc.?

2.  Select a trustworthy, emotionally mature individual who has enough courage to tell you the truth and ask the tough questions.  Choose someone whose life you respect and steer away from choosing someone who struggles with your same challenges.

3.  Meet on a regular basis setting measurable goals (weekly or bi-weekly tend to be the most fruitful times).  Be forthcoming and honest making sure the time spent together is valuable for you both.  Be sure to celebrate victories together as you meet goals and gain fresh victory in key challenges.

Maybe it’s time? 🙂

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Time for a change? Time for a plan?

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It’s been almost 15 years since I was given the daunting opportunity to build my first Life Plan.  The very idea that I could somehow establish some plans or a course of direction for my life felt like a whole new concept; almost impossible.  As a mother of two teen boys, a pastor’s wife, a sister, daughter, friend, and community member how in the world could I possibly build some order and intentionality into my life?  Frankly, I was already running as hard as I could!!!

And THAT was the problem ~ I needed to give myself permission to stop “running so hard” and start to “run smarter.”  Thus began my journey of building and living my Life Plan, a journey that completely turned my life around enough that I now spend my days helping women to find fresh success as they too live their lives with renewed intentionality.

Here are some good questions to help you assess where you are in your life today, and perhaps give you some food for thought as you consider how you will make choices for your time, your talents, and your relationships in the season ahead:

1.  Today, how would you rate your life satisfaction? Be honest.  What about your life brings you great joy? What depletes you? What discourages you? What excites you?

2.  When considering your health, career, finances, family, faith, on-going relationships, and emotional well-being; how solid are these key “accounts”?  Are you soaring or drowning, or somewhere in between?

3.  What IS working in your life?  What choices are you making that are producing great impact in your life and the lives of those you love?

4.  What ISN’T working in your life? Consider areas where you would like to improve, identify the obstacles that stand in the way of your living a meaningful, hopefilled life. We all have seasons of challenge in our lives where we truly may be helpless to make everything better~ disease, death of a loved one, etc.  But often times we can be the one to sabotage ourselves from a truly meaningful life.  Can you see areas where you could make some meaningful changes to move forward in your life?

5.  What would you LIKE your life to look like?  Describe in detail what kind of life would make you excited to get out of bed each morning? Be bold and specific!!

6.  What actions do you need to apply to your life and calendar to insure that your life begins to move slowly but surely in a fresh and meaningful direction?  Do you have people in your life to hold you accountable to these action steps? Will you invite them in?

As you consider these questions are you already considering your life with a new filter?  I hope that you are and that if you are discouraged or simply “stuck” you will give yourself permission to bravely set a fresh course for the Life you truly want!!!

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” Alan Lakein

Planning is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.” Richard I. Winwood

If you need extra help feel free to connect with us a http://www.coachwell.com

🙂

Who are ” your people? “~

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Over the weekend I had the privilege to hear a profound speaker while attending Menlo Part Presbyterian church Sunday morning. The topic was about getting “Unstuck” and the theme was about adding the element of accountability/community to our ongoing spiritual health and growth.

How many of us have found ourselves at spiritual or emotional crossroads over the years?  Did you navigate these seasons in isolation or did you have individuals you trusted to help you find healthy and sustainable solutions?

Many people suffer in isolation, whether self – imposed orotherwise, and what we will find~every time~ is that those who live in isolation struggle greatly to have significant mental, spiritual, and emotional health!

Sunday, the Pastor shared a revealing study:

In a government study with rats, back in the 70’s, while in isolation, rats were given the options of water or cocaine from two separate spouts. Day in and day out they became more and more addicted to the cocaine; rarely if ever choosing to drink fresh water!  The finding here was that rats in isolation became addicted to the cocaine to the point of death every single time!

A professor by the name of Bruce Alexander  wanted another filter for this same experiment! He was concerned that the one consistant element in the study is that every rat was kept isolated for any others! The rats were in cages all alone. The rat has nothing to do but take the drugs. In isolation the rats never observed any alternate behaviours around them! What would happen, he wondered, if we tried this differently? So Professor Alexander built Rat Park. It it was a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls and the best rat-food and tunnels to scamper down, alternative activities, and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, Alexander wanted to know, will happen then?

The rats with good lives didn’t like the drugged water. They mostly shunned it, consuming less than a quarter of the drugs the isolated rats used. None of them died. While all the rats who were alone and unhappy became heavy users, none of the rats who had a happy environment did!!

Hmmmm….what does that mean for us??

When we place ourselves amongst trusted friends and family, attend a regular small gathering of purpose minded people, check our thinking with those who are wise, and confess our challenges to individuals that have our best outcome in mind~ we will “choose better”!

God fully intended that we would go through the joys and challenges, sadness and loss, celebrations and surprises within “community”; never in isolation!

First Thessalonians 5: 11 says

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

Galatians 6:2 says

“Therefore encourage Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

Romans 12:10

“Therefore encourage Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.one another and build one another up, jus Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor as you are doing.”

Who are your people? What trusted individuals are in your posse? Where do you go to garner wisdom, balance, and encouragement? Or do you find yourself for the most part, basically alone?

My prayer for you is that if you are in some form of isolation, you will be intentional in the coming year to build a trusted team around your life!  For those with a posse, invite them in regularly so that you can soar above the challenges and temptations that would love to entangle you!  We do better TOGETHER!

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