Crashing off the Pedestal~

proud-of-sister

Ever found yourself putting people you admire on a pedestal – and then face the inevitable, crashing disappointment when they fail to live up to expectations?

When I was a little girl I can remember looking up to so many people with incredible admiration; they didn’t have to do much to gain that admiration either! I was a little girl with a high “believability”  in people.   From the President of the United States, our church pastor, my schoolteacher, to singers on the radio, I found myself putting them on a pedestal; they could do no wrong. Ah, the naiveté of childhood!

As I got a little older I can vividly remember when some of my “pedestaled heroes” began to reveal their true behaviors and this truly devastated me. My expectations and admiration were all based on what I believed to be true about them. For example, I remember when my perfect third grade teacher lost her temper while talking to her colleague in the hallway outside the classroom and cursed like a sailor~ I was just around the corner and heard every word!   Within an instant her pedestal began to crumble!

Growing up meant realizing that all people are humans with flaws and shortcomings. The truth is that it is actually much healthier to live life understanding that we all have areas that keep us humble every day. As much as I loved imagining people without flaws it’s just not who we, as humans, truly are. Because of this we all need people in our lives who know us, stand with us, challenge us, and support us when we come crashing off the pedestals we, or others have placed us on.

 

At the end of the day, Pedestals are for statues, not humans.

But–I’m so disappointed!!!

 

“The wounded Oyster mends his shell with a Pearl” Anonymous

disappointment 

Disappointment is a part of life.  You cannot dodge it, you cannot prevent it, but you can deal with it in a productive and successful manner.

 It took Hershey four attempts to launch Hershey Chocolate.  Henry Ford was not a winner the first time, and Thomas Edison had more disappointments then successes! However, they all succeeded because they had the fortitude to stick it out and deal with the disappointment effectively.

 Disappointment can be a major cause of business or relational failure because we may quit too soon.  We may have difficulty weathering the setbacks, walking through structural changes, or we simply get hurt or offended.  Setbacks and conflict can create disappointment killing your prior ambition.  You may simply have a huge urge to walk away!

 One of the biggest challenges with disappointments is that we can become bitter and offended; even see ourselves as a “victim of circumstances”.  These emotions will cloud our view of the situations, others, and ourselves. It’s a vicious trap and one to avoid!

 In my life I have found that I am most disappointed when my expectations for a person, project, or experience are unreasonably high!  When the situation ends up much different then what I had in my mind and my hopes are dashed!  It’s tough to return to my “visionary” thinking!

 So how do we navigate disappointment without allowing it to rob us of our mental and emotional health?

 Balancing our expectations is probably the key.  When working with others we will have conflict and at times, find ourselves offended. Expect it. When conflict arises have a plan in mind to address it , learn from it, and resolve it.  Without a plan you will simply leave yourself open to be wounded.

 Business will have ups and downs.   In the DISC Profile I have a high S, which means I like things nice and STEADY!  I get scared when things feel “uncertain”.  I am learning that business and projects have seasons to navigate.  If we don’t anticipate these seasons we will be left discouraged!

 Most of all, disappointments are a great opportunity to grow, to learn greater trust,  to forgive, and to see life from a fresh perspective~~

Pretty sure my opinion of “disappointment “ is not FUN, but at my ripe old age            ( LOL) I have learned the value of hindsight.

We are told in scripture that God promises to never leave us or forsake us, that He  uses all situations for our good, and that He has a plan and purpose for our life,  so if we believe Him then  disappointments can create growth IF we navigate them with grace.

I am still a learner, how about you?

🙂