The Words We Say~

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When I was a little girl we used to take long road trips in the big family car.  My parents would get us up early; often before the sun was up to get on the road with the promise of syrup covered pancakes further down the road. Sometimes we would return from our trips late, late at night; everyone would seem to fall asleep~ Except me ( I can’t sleep in moving vehicles!) and my father who would always drive.  As a little girl I had anxiety that my dad would also doze off as the driver so I would sit behind him and try to continually engage in conversation with him. I needed to know he was wide awake!! I think I thought I was somehow doing him a favor~~I am sure I must have driven him crazy!!  I remember one particular time that he turned to me and said “You just talk too much!!”  He had every right to say that; but my little heart was wounded that day.  The OUCH of words.  My father is a wonderful, wonderful man, one of my greatest supporters in my life, but he must have been so exasperated with his chatty daughter!!  Interestingly enough though, I still remember how it made me feel as a little girl.   I remember that it made me wonder if what I said held value.

Our words.

I can remember as a young mother mindlessly making statements to my sons in frustration or weariness. These words were irritable and negative.  I am sure that these words hurt their feelings. These words did not bring “Life”. Looking back I probably owe them many apologies for things I said in haste!

Our words.

It’s funny how our words can impact lives so deeply, for good and for harm. Statements like ” don’t be stupid”, “you’re just not good at that”, “you’re a pest”, or “can’t you be more like  ___________” are so harmful!  These words cannot bear fruit in anyone.  Sadly enough, sometimes we say these things to ourselves long before anyone ever says them to us!! These words cause us to become downcast and insecure; hopeless!

Hawk Nelson has a new song out called “WORDS” where some of the words say:

Words can build us up, words can break us down,

Start a fire in our hearts or put it out!

Let my words be life……………….

However, the impact of statements like ” yes, you can!”, “You are full of potential, “I enjoy being with you”, and “sky’s the limit for you!” have equally as powerful an impact on us! These words breathe life helping us to dream and believe in the possibilities; hope filled!

How do you speak to your spouse, your children, co-workers, or extended family?  Do your words bring life? Are you intentional and mindful about what you say? That little old “Golden Rule” still applies “Do (say) unto others as you would have them do (say) unto you! 🙂

But if you need a little more back up the bible is full of verses on the power of the words we say ~ so it must be an important issue for us all to address!!

Proverbs 16:24        Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Matthew 15:18       But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Proverbs 25:11       A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Colossians 4:6       Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Life is full of challenges for us all~ we all want to be around people who breathe life with their words….so let’s BE those people! 🙂

Tips to Successful Relationships~

Relationships matter!

Relationships can bring us our greatest joys and our deepest wounds. We can’t control how others choose to respond in their relationships with us, but we can establish our own ground rules for having and maintaining quality relationships.

Below are some thoughts to consider as you navigate the relationships in your life:

1.  Surround yourself with positive people- finding like-minded, positive people will fill your cup. Spending the bulk of your time with those who suck the happiness out of you is unwise and unhealthy.

2. Accept people just the way they are – Save yourself the needless stress of trying to change people who don’t want to change. Fight the urge to engage in fruitless conversations, rather look for areas where you can agree and show support.

3. Forgive people and move forward –  holding anger or bitterness affects us much more than the individual we have been hurt by.  Forgiveness is not saying “What you did or said was okay.”  It is saying “I’m not going to let what you did ruin my happiness or steal my joy.” It doesn’t mean you forget it simply means that you choose to let go.

4.   Do little things for those in your life –  A card, a visit, a gift, an email, a text. Simply take opportunities to connect with and appreciate those your care about.  We all feel a little more valuable when we realize that someone has been thinking of us.

5.  Talk a little less, listen a little more –  Our relationships will grow if we move away from being the talker and take the time to listen! A listening ear is the greatest gift we could give to those we love.

6.  Be Loyal – be the kind of person that believes the best about those you love. Everyone needs to know that someone “has their back”. Be that person.

7.  Pick your battlegrounds – don’t pick petty arguments. We aren’t always “right”.  Focus on the things that truly matter and let the small stuff go!

8.  Encourage and cheer them on –  be excited for those you love! Spur them on! Don’t look at their opportunities or dreams with the lens of what it will cost you, rather keep them the priority.

9.  Remember that everyone has baggage –  we all enter relationship with a suitcase filled with past experiences; successes, disappointments, hurts, etc.  Sometimes that “baggage” effects the relationship and needs to be addressed. However, using grace and understanding will always be the most fruitful approach.

10. Let go of friendships that are no longer healthy – some relationships can run their course and a necessary ending needs to take place. To force relationships to continue when the season is over can be exhausting and eventually more harmful than good.  Be willing to appreciate the relationship for what it was, and then release it and move forward.

Relationships are our most valuable assets and worth the effort to keep them strong and healthy! Test these tips out and see if they help create healthier interactions in your relationships. AND–Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂