Ever met anyone who you seem to dislike for no known reason? Every time you are around them you feel a little irritated, defensive, or critical? Are there people on your team at work, or even in your family that frustrate you whenever you are around them? What would you think if I explained to you that it’s possible you simply don’t understand how they were created? Let me explain.
Throughout most of my life I “disliked” strong, aggressive people-male or female. I saw them as arrogant and self serving. I indited them simply because of their “alpha” personality~Type A. I liked the peaceful type–the fun type–and for most of my life I surrounded myself with people I liked….people just like me! 🙂
As a Life and Business Coach I have been trained on an assessment tool called the DISC. This assessment breaks down behavior styles into 4 quadrants: Driver (D), Influence (I), Steady (S), and Conscientious (C). Each behavior style is different and though we have a portion of each of them in ourselves, we do have 1 or 2 that are more dominant than the others.
As I began to learn the high value of the different behavior styles I started to understand why it is so important that we understand each other, give grace, and learn to communicate according to what we understand about our differences.
Today I am not irritated by a Type A (D-Dominance) personality from the get-go! I understand that they have a need to focus on getting tasks completed, that they can be impatient, be a little blunt, and talk forcefully. But that does not mean they do not love deeply and care about those in their lives.
As a high I (Influence), I love people, my life is highly connected relationally, I like to have fun, love to laugh~ but I’m not so great with details and I probably talk too much!! I can frustrate people too!
For the S (Steady) change can be a upsetting, they may stay in a challenged situation or relationship longer that needed or is healthy because they are so loyal. However the S dislikes conflict and may do all that is possible to avoid it while the D jumps right in to conflict unafraid!! See the amazing difference?
The C (Conscientious) likes to know what the rules are and wants to be sure everyone is following them! There is a right way and wrong way to do things…period. So imagine their frustration when an I , like myself, chooses to create my own rules!A high C does NOT want you to mess up their organized desk! Do not use their stapler without asking!! LOL!
I say all this as a reminder that we have all been created differently. Scripture says we are fearfully and wonderfully made!! Love it!
So I challenge you, as I challenge myself, before you indite or decide you dislike someone~~ Step back and think, are they a D I S C??? Then seek to understand them the best you can! To help you in this quest, feel free message me on Facebook and I will send you some tools that will be a great source of understanding. I firmly believe that the more we seek to understand about how someone is wired up – the great success we will have in those relationships!!