joy

Where’s your Joy?~

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Lose anything lately?  Car keys? Glasses? Credit card?  It is so easy to lose “stuff” isn’t it?  However, according to Pastor Rick Warren “The easiest thing of all to lose is your joy. You can lose it with one phone call or email, a letter or conversation. You can watch a commercial or the news on TV and lose your joy. It’s the easiest thing in the world to lose.”  Have you been losing your joy and if you have, is it possible to get it back?

I say “yes”, but I think it’s important to figure out what’s stealing your joy before you can regain it. What’s diminishes joy in your life?  I will give you a few suggestions to consider:

What are you reading, watching or listening to regularly?

Are you constantly absorbed with negative news, rants on Facebook, or sad songs?  If we have a steady diet of things that create negative emotions within us we will begin to see our joy slip away.  I love the scripture verse that says “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Philippians 4:8   Perhaps it’s time to redirect your focus to new input that encourages and inspires you.

How do you talk to yourself?

I have often said that “there are times in my life that I have spoken to myself in ways that I would never allow anyone to talk to me.”

What you tell yourself about yourself, others and everything that happens to you will determine how you feel.  We can be so harsh with ourselves. Take a little time and observe the stories you tell yourself about yourself.  Are your words life-giving or do your words regularly steal your joy? Perhaps it’s time to turn your words around realizing it’s time to apply kindness to yourself in the same way you freely show kindness to others.

Are you walking in fear?

Are you facing uncertainties and challenges that have caused you to become fearful and anxious?  Fear and anxiety are joy robbers for certain.   There are uncertainties in life, the daily news can create situations that heighten our fears, however, if we get stuck in our fears we will lose our joy only every time!  Perhaps there are some activities you can add to your calendar that will lift you from a fear-filled place to a hope-filled place:  talk your fears through with someone life-giving, exercise, pray, volunteer your time, or do something artistic. Engaging in activities that help you “get out of your head” can help lessen your level of fear and anxiety.

How’s your health?

Do you wake up refreshed? How’s your energy level? Are you proactive in taking care of yourself?  Not feeling well, not feeling energetic, or simply feeling out of shape can affect your joy.  Perhaps it’s time to make some adjustments in your lifestyle.  Do you need to laugh and play more often?  Do you need to add exercise to your daily routine? Time to prepare meals with better nutrition and take a break from fast foods for a while? Take small steps in a fresh direction and celebrate each small win! Not only will you feel better, you will feel better about yourself which can bring you renewed joy.

Joy comes from within us.   The aim is to navigate those things rob us from expressing our joy.   Joy is not happiness’. Joy is something deeper. Joy is a choice we make every day.  Joy, real joy, weathers the challenges and changes in our lives.  Guard it well.

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Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men ~ Let it begin with me.

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Ah, Peace on earth, Good will to men.   I would love that.  A world where everyone loved and respected on another, valued each other, and did all they could do to live at peace with one another. I think that actually only lasted for a short season in the Garden of Eden way back in the beginning of our Biblical history.   It’s a fabulous way to live…………but nearly impossible when humans are added to the mix.

With our humanity comes competition, envy, drive for power, and  the desire to conquer.  We’ve seen this down through the ages.  However, with humanity also comes kindness, a giving spirit, willingness to compromise, and the desire to help others be better. But, it’s a fine tension.

Do you believe that change in the world begins with us?   Do you believe we can influence peace at all?    How can I make a difference?  In elementary school I was in the  Glee Club and we sang a song that started like this: “Let there be peace on earth and let if begin with me…..”  I do believe we can impact the world around us!

As we all enter this new year where there will be much good and yet also much unrest, let’s all be people who encourage others, smile at our neighbors, reach out to those in need, and share the true hope that we know we have in God. And if we find ourselves in a place where we have to stand up for what we believe or stand against those with whom we disagree, let’s speak the truth in love.  The shouting matches of 2016 did nothing to promote “peace on earth”.

I wish you a 2017  full of impact, influence, joy, legacy, and yes, peace.

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
~ Albert Einstein

This Christmas….

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Sitting in my living room looking out at the blustery snow storm outside, I am pondering what Christmas is like for you this year.  Each year the “feel” of the season may be markedly different from the last.  I have a dear friend who, last year, grieved her inability to carry a child; this year she is in her first trimester of a stable pregnancy.  I have a colleague who is walking through the first Christmas without her spouse by her side.  I have a client who is reveling in the birth of her first grandchild and yet another who just found out that she will no longer have her job in 2016.

The “feel” of the holidays can ebb and flow against the filter of what’s presently taking place in our lives. We all want to be sensitive to others while also being grateful enough to celebrate the joys in our lives as well.  This can be a fine balance that I have not mastered but attempt to be mindful of.  Five years ago was a “blue” Christmas for me as our family was walking through the pain of a dramatic loss in our family.  I don’t think I was resentful of the joys others were celebrating, I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to celebrate that year, I understand the challenge.

What I have learned over the years is that there is always elements of our lives we can be grateful for–some unchangeable areas where our gratefulness can be expressed:

  1.  We have an amazing God who loves us, forgives us, gives us grace, and watches over our lives every single day!
  2. We live in America.  We are not a perfect nation and have much to learn but as of today, we are free to worship, to work, and to travel freely.
  3. We all have friends.  Some years we may not have as many friends as we’d like but if we were honest, we all have one or two dear people who love us and this is a real gift!
  4. If we are breathing and our heart is beating, we still have life within us and the opportunity to love and impact the lives of others around us.

I don’t know what your holiday filter is for you this year but it is my prayer that you will take some time to ponder, even list, the good things in your life as you navigate Christmas Day.  May you begin a New Year with a fresh perspective, renewed hope, and a grateful heart.

Merry Christmas to you all. 🙂

Merry Stressmas?

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It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But for women, it can also be the most overwhelming.   From decorating our homes, to preparing and sending Christmas cards, attending Christmas parties, and purchasing gifts that will bless family and friends near and far. We do all of this while working, volunteering, homeschooling, and navigating all of our other natural responsibilities.

The Huffington Post ran a terrific article that may allow you to embrace needed permission to do the holidays a little more stress free! 🙂  Here is a few of the choices to consider:

1. Spending big bucks on the best presents.  A homemade gift can be worth much more.

2. Thinking up the perfect present for everyone on your list.  A gift certificate may not be the most personal choice, but they will really  like it.

3. Giving the same gift to multiple people. Unless they live under the same roof, they’ll never know!

4. Cooking everything yourself. It’s okay to delegate! Costco is your friend.

5. Staging elaborate scenes with your Elf on the Shelf!

6. A homemade pie crust. No one will notice.

7.  Sending Christmas cards/photos. You keep in touch with the people you want to keep in touch with already. Shoot your other friends a “Thinking of you” email and save yourself the stress of staging the family photo.

8. Wrapping stocking stuffers. That’s what the stocking is for!

9.  Accepting every holiday party invitation. It’s important to say no to certain things to say yes to the most imporant experiences!

And finally….

10. Trying to cram in every single Christmas tradition — going out to look at lights, building the perfect snowman, making sure you bake the Christmas cookies, having the house all decorated. If you run out of time for one (or a few!) of these traditions, remember: There’s always next year!

At the end of the day Christmas will always be remembered by the memories we make with those we love……

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of  happy family and friends wrapped up in each other.” ~ Burton Hillis

 

Sometimes we just need something Sweet~

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Last week my heart felt so heavy as I watched and heard about so many devastating events that caused death and sadness to countless people in many parts of the world. I watched the news in the morning and listened to the news while in my car while out doing a few errands. I could feel the weight of the concern on my heart.  I prayed. I cried. I prayed again.

Sitting at a traffic light a young Jr. High boy, riding on a scooter, stopped at a cross walk, he pushed the button and when he did he noticed an older homeless man a little way up the sidewalk.  Without hesitating, this young man pulled out his wallet, grabbed $20.00 dollar bill and handed it to the homeless man.  He turned, jumped on his scooter and headed across the street to the other side.

That little sweetness lifted my heavy heart.

I like to treasure hunt, when I can, at our local Goodwill.  This particular day I heard one of the employees loudly say ” Hey, there’s the birdman.” Then I watched a wonderfully kind interaction between them.  The “Birdman” was a tiny, hunched over, toothless man who comes into Goodwill to find bird houses.  In his hand was his treasure for the day ~ a bird house made completely out of rocks~ he was beaming!

As I made my way through the store I looked up and only the “birdman” and I were alone in the  same aisle.  He walks my way, puts his hand on my shoulder and says “honey, have you ever imagine the stories that the old items in this store could tell?  Stories of joys, memories, sadness, and celebrations?  Isn’t life precious?”   and he walked away.

That little bit of sweetness lifted my heavy heart!

Sometimes we just need something sweet, something precious, to remind us to appreciate our lives and the people in it.  I was grateful to have experienced these “sacred moments”.

In the midst of reports that break our hearts let’s not forget that there are still multitudes of precious, good people! 🙂

I wish you “sweetness” today.

She danced~

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I love the Christmas season!  I love celebrating the birth of our Lord.  I love the fun, the food, and all the wonderful traditions, but I really love singing Christmas carols! Last night was so enjoyable as the Worship Team at my home church led us in some amazing renditions of all my favorite songs; it was wonderful.

However, singing the songs wasn’t the only element that filled my heart last night.  What also filled my heart was this adorable little girl standing in the front row with her daddy; filled with all the awe and wonder you would hope for a little child to have. As the songs were sung she danced and danced and danced.  This precious little one didn’t care who was looking, if her moves were acceptable, if someone was bothered by her passionate little dance.  Nope~~ she just danced with all the joy that was inside her little heart.

Watching this sweet display brought me to sweet tears as I realized that many of us, myself included, have lost the freedom to simply “dance” in our lives.  So often we worry about how we look, what others may think; we fear the thought of criticism. Have we lost our sense of awe and wonder? Have we become so adult, so appropriate, that we rarely “dance” in life at all?

I have been pondering all of this since last night and an interesting verse came to my mind: Matthew 18:3 says  “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Hmmm….  Perhaps it’s time to “dance” again!

Dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt.
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.
– William W. Purkey

Bend, Oregon

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The sun has come out and Summer is in full bloom.  Somewhere between February and June I go stark crazy with the cold weather! BUT, when Summer arrives…well…Bend is my favorite place!! so I invite you to come to Bend and enjoy a time of needed respite with your spouse or/and your family.  It’s amazing. Just Sayin’!

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Bend is a great place for re-newal! Come and simply Breathe………

Be Well~

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“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

This verse is action packet with some of the best advice you’ll ever be offered!  Yet, in a world that’s filled with busy schedules, heavy responsibilities,  political posturing, financial challenges, and even relational loss. We find our minds constantly carrying the “burdens of the world”.  I know I sure have to catch myself!

Something we may not truly understand is that focusing on all that is stressful and unhappy can actually make us sick!!

In a recent Washington Post article, Kendall Powell stated;  “If stress is chronic every day, pumping out hormones without any escaping or fighting, then it’s not good for your immune system,” comparing its response to infection. The bottom line is that “chronic stress makes it more likely you become infected and that infections will last longer and be nastier.”

WebMD says is this way; “Chronic worry and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems. The problem occurs when fight or flight is triggered daily by excessive worrying and anxiety. All of these systems interact and are profoundly influenced by your coping style and your psychological state. It isn’t the stress that makes you ill. Rather, it’s the effect responses such as excessive worrying and anxiety have on these various interacting systems that can bring on the physical illness.”

Our Creator knows us very, very well. He knew that excessive worry and concern would cause us to live our lives partly broken, unable to become the best versions of ourselves. I imagine that is why He filled His Word with verses like these:

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
Isaiah  41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
So,
How are you today?  Is it time to lay down the heavy backpack of stress and worry?  Time to turn and lay those things that burden your soul on the altar; choosing to put renewed trust in the One who knows you the best?  I challenge you, and myself today, to CHOOSE TO BE WELL!  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 Keys for a Joy-Filled Life~~

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Life is unpredictable.  Life has challenges.  Life can sometimes steal our joy; let’s just be honest about that.  We cannot control everything that comes our way, even if we wish we could! This is why we should be compelled to maintain some key elements in our lives that will help us keep our balance and joy even when faced with uncertainties.

Here are 4 keys that I believe to be essential to maintain a joy-filled life:

1.  LAUGHTER:   There’s just nothing like laughter to release the tension that builds up in our daily lives. A good belly laugh can turn our day completely around! Kathryn Hepburn was quoted as saying  “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”  I have to agree! Laughter takes our minds off our “to do” list, our sadness, or our anxieties and allows us to catch our breath!  Ignoring the need for laughter will cause us all to become very serious and introspective.  So plan to lighten up a couple of times a day~~LAUGH!

2.  FORGIVENESS: Martin Luther King said; Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” This means forgiveness is a choice.  I “choose” to be unoffendable yet when I am offended I will seek to walk in forgiveness as a gift to myself! Walking in unforgiveness can change us.  Walking in unforgiveness is draining. Walking in unforgiveness steals our joy.  In an article written by Charles Stanly he said that  “It’s probably not surprising to hear that resentment impacts the mind and spirit, but you may not have realized what a physical toll it can also take on us. An attitude of bitterness ratchets up tension and anxiety, which can affect everything from muscles to chemical balance in the brain. Over time, that kind of mayhem weakens the body.”
Therefore If we seek reconciliation when we can and choose forgiveness always, we will stand a greater chance of experiencing a consistent joy-filled life.

3.  Quality Relationships:  Quality relationships are those that bring energy to you as a person.  I’m talking about the deep, unreserved relationships you have within the circle of family and friends that you have. Who are the people who know you and have weathered storms and joys alongside you?  Who are the people who love you unconditionally and call just to see how you’re doing?  Who are those who would never indict you but would have your back in any situation? Isolation is a joy stealer, we all need a handful of people who will lift our spirits when we are down, laugh with us when we need to unwind, and celebrate with us when we are experiencing even a small victory! These are the relationships that deserve to be placed on your calendar and nurtured!  Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words.
George Eliot

4.  Times of Solitude:  Unplug.  Turn of your phone. Back away from the computer. Breathe.   Take some time to be silent.  To read or reflect. Take time to pray or journal.  Don’t see this as a waste of time, but as an integral part of your day. We all need periods of solitude, although temperamentally we probably differ in the amount of solitude we need. However, some solitude is essential; It gives us time to explore who we are and how we feel. Solitude gives us a chance to regain perspective. It renews us for the challenges of life. It allows us to get (back) into the position of driving our own lives, rather than having them run by schedules and demands from without. Times of solitude are also a time to connect with God, giving you time to listen to what He may be saying to you. Making times of solitude a priority in your life will help you to find joy; even in the midst of a busy, or challenging season of life.

Begin to practice these 4 Keys on a regular basis and you will begin to see how valuable they are right away!  I want you to live a life that is Joy-filled. THAT is my hope for you! 🙂

It’s About Making Time, Not Having Time~

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Life is busy.  Our days are filled with many meaningful activities.  Our time is divided between the needs in our homes, our children, places of employment,churches, community organizations, and IF we can fit it in, some time to exercise and care for ourselves.

We are daily, even hourly, connected to our computers or Smart phones; logging onto our mail, Facebook, Pinterest, news, or games throughout the entire day which eats up even more of our daily time spent.

So, what about taking time with friends and family members? How well do we fit in key times of connection to maintain on-going relationships with those that mean the world to us?  Do we tell ourselves we are too busy to make the time? Do we assume we’ll grab time when we can?  Think about this:

Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them. And if you go beyond that, and truly connect with them, through good conversation, that says even more. Many times its our actions, not just our words, that really speak what our hearts feel. Taking the time speaks volumes!

Are you saying ” I’d love to but I really am too busy!”

  • Have five minutes? Send an email. It doesn’t take long to send an email to someone you care about, asking them how they are, wishing them a good day. And that little gesture could go a long way, especially if you follow it up over time with regular emails.
  • Have 10 minutes? Call them up. A phone call is an easy way to connect with someone. It’s conversation, without having to even get in the car!
  • Have 30 minutes? You might not get the chance to do this every day, but at least once a week, take 30 minutes to drop in and say Hello to someone you care about and just visit.(No Smart phone allowed)  It’ll be some of the best 30 minutes you’ll spend this week.
  • Have a couple hours? Grab coffee or go to lunch with a friend or loved one. Who among us doesn’t have a couple of free hours each month? Weekends, or evenings, there’s got to be a time that you spend in front of the TV or computer that could be better spent building rich relationships with those that matter to you.

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                                        Make it a priority to build rich relational connections into your schedule. Enrich your life while bringing value to those you love as well.  Don’t put it off assuming they will always be there. 🙂