living life

Thank You~ 200th Blog Post!

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A few years ago I decided to risk writing a blog to begin to chronicle the many lessons I gain from everyday living. Challenges, changes, observations, and coaching moments could probably sum up the content of my Blog~

“Seasons and Assignments”

This will be my 200th blog post!! I am now officially convinced that our lives are full of wonderment and celebrations, fresh understanding and opportunities to grow.  As I read through the lessons I’ve been learning and have documented in my blog posts, I can relive my sad experiences, growth points, and fresh revelations about God, life, leadership, and relationships!!

I wanted to take the opportunity in my 200th Blog post to say “thank you” to my faithful readers who have commented and encouraged me every step of the way.  Your feedback has been priceless and inspiring to me!

It is my desire to be a source of fresh ideas, amusing stories, and tools for life. It is my hope that my experiences will help to build hope and direction as you walk out your own life experiences!

I wonder if you might be willing to, once again, give me some feedback.  What blog(s) that I have shared have meant a lot to you over the years? Which topics have spoken the most to your own life experiences? What themes would interest you in the days ahead?  Your feedback will help to keep me on track, inspired, and ready to “share life” with you for another 200 blog posts!  🙂

Again, I thank you for walking through the Season and Assignments of life with me!

Just a little “Wacky”~~

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Anyone who knows me, really knows me, would not be surprised if I said I was just a little “wacky”  🙂  I love all things bright , bold, and shiny.  I love a little bling on most of my clothes; even my workout sweatshirts!   I love my little red Volkswagen bug convertible, and I have entered contests for over 15 years ( and I win!). So, a tiny bit “wacky”~

My mother, embracing my personality, bought me a Calendar last Christmas called Dare to be Wacky…go figure!  As I read through the calendar I came to a few paragraphs that I loved and wanted to share them with you.

“This is the year, and now is the moment. Rekindle your passions, and multiply your talents.  Embrace your inner wackiness and redefine your world.  Stand up for something worth fighting for, and confront the challenges that come your way …especially if they cause you to be afraid.  Make a difference in someone’s life, and in the process, you’ll change your own.  Don’t wait for a “better time”.  It’s your life and your story. So dare to be wacky…and truly live a life worth loving.!”

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Sending a little whimsy your way hoping to encourage you! 🙂

It’s a Screen Free Day!! Enjoy it!!

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On a trip to Kauai a couple years back Greg and I went on a Catamaran Excursion.  We love to to that; just to get out on the vast open sea looking for dolphin, flying fish, turtles, and perhaps even a whale or two!! On this particular trip we were most struck by something else we saw~~ a couple who were aboard spent the entire trip using their cell phones at opposite ends of the boat!! They didn’t really interact much, appreciate the view, or enjoy the romance of it all. Nope~ on their phones the entire time!!

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Recently, at one of my favorite restaurants I looked across the crowded room only to observe a family of 5 having dinner together.  Well, actually they were eating in each others presence, but they were all on their “smart phones” sending texts or playing games! So much for their family dinner!

Driving home from work I always pass a great little park filled with kids; there’s a climbing wall, fun slide, and lots of room to run.  Along the outside of the park there are places for parents to sit to watch there kids playing.  This particular day  I observed that 4 out of the 5 moms had their eyes firmly fixed on the screen of their “smart phones” missing out on the fun and giggles coming from their young children!

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Yesterday, a gal driving a small car right behind me on the overpass continually came up too close behind my car as I headed home.  Looking in my rear view mirror I could see that she was looking down at her lap sending and reading texts the entire time, rarely looking up to see what was ahead.  Had I needed to stop quickly we would have been in a frightful situation!

So, I think it’s time for everyone to start to take some “Screen Free” time!! Catch your breath, disconnect from social media and your phone for a little while.  Remember back in the “old days” when we would come home and get our phone messages? Back when we weren’t so readily accessible?

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Read, connect with a friend face to face, play with your kids, go for a walk~~ so many wonderful things to enjoy!  Give yourself permission to regularly disconnect from your screen, any screen, and fully engage in your life in fresh ways!  It’s the weekend, try it today! 🙂

I am a Millionaire~~

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I am on vacation with my family…On the island of Kauai. This fact alone is enviable and I apologize if it even remotely appears I could be bragging.  However, this trip is not what makes me a millionaire! Rather, it is the people I am sharing this experience with that makes me feel incredibly rich!

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Today we spent 6 hours on a lovely beach; the sun, palm trees, and amazing, warm waters were sincerely lovely BUT the sweet conversations, deep laughter, family banter, rough housing, and the love expressed remind me again, I AM RICH!!

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My family fills my heart.  These individuals are kind, smart and interesting. Watching them interact, respond kindly to those we encounter, and listening to their thoughts and engaging ideas, make me a MILLIONAIRE! It does!  I am deeply grateful and I do not take this precious family for granted!

I pray that when you experience your own families you feel so rich, so fortunate, so blessed~~ Aloha, my friends! 🙂

We need one another, we really do!

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  I was reminded again this week, through the sad events in Boston, Massachusetts that we really do need one another.  Out of the rubble of lost lives and limbs arose an army of people connected by sadness and grief going above and beyond to make sure they helped and supported every person they possibly could. Strangers housing disoriented families, men carrying children to safe places, and medical professionals jumping in to help wherever they found a need. In times of crisis we really do need one another.

However, in the regular rhythm of our daily lives we really need others as well. From the website “Live your Life well” I saw that research points to the on-going benefits of good social connection:

1.  Social connection brings increased happiness. When you are offered concrete help, emotional support, fresh perspective, wanted advice, and encouraging validation you will find that your emotions will stay more hope-filled then downcast.

2.  Better health is another benefit from being connected to others.  Loneliness is associated with a higher risk of high blood pressure, sleeplessness, and depression.

3.  Connecting regularly with others helps us to remember that life isn’t all about our challenges.  When connected to others we are also able to care for their needs, focus on being supportive, and share in our common challenges.  This can help us to have a balance in our own thinking.

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When thinking about friendships, some people think that in order to be less lonely they must be liked by everyone. That’s just not true!  The person who has 4,000 friends on Facebook is not necessarily “connected in relationship”….especially if the bulk of their free time is spent maintaining their Facebook page!  Two or three amazing , trusted friends/family can be all we need to be known, heard, or validated.

Life is busy.  Perhaps this has been an especially crazy season for you and quality connections with others has been tough to find; yet with a time of reflection you would have to honestly say that you have been experiencing some of the symptoms of a disconnect: discouragement, restlessness, isolation, etc.  Perhaps a few of these steps would be helpful in moving you into a place of connectedness:

1.  Make a list of those you would like to connect with, calendar a bi-weekly/monthly  time with them that allows you to spend some quality time.

2.  When spending time with those you value the most: turn off phones and other distracting devices.  Maximize what little time you have!

3.  Listen really well and repeat back what you have heard to be sure you truly understand what is being shared!

4.  Ask for help.  Even great friends will have trouble reading your mind.

5.  Share your appreciation for those you value; you may be thinking it but bridges are built when your actually share it!

6.  Move out of unhealthy relationships to give yourself fresh emotional and time margins to begin to invite quality connections into your life.  Boundaries are a good thing!

We need one another~In our personal lives as well as in a national crisis!  If you have found yourself isolating I beseech you to reach out and invite people IN again. 🙂

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“It is impossible for us to be all we can be in isolation.”  Paula P. Brownlee

LIFE HAPPENS HERE!

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Growing up in the coastal farming town of Watsonville, California I had my days filled with school, bike/horseback riding, chores on our 54 acre apple ranch, church activities, sandy days at the beach, and time spent with my parents and 5 sisters.

From the time I was 6 to the ripe old age of 20 (when I headed off to college) we lived on the same property.  My life had a sense of consistency, regularity, and security.  I’m not sure if I ever really took the time to fully consider how my life would unfold in the years ahead.

I have had the privilege to live a truly wonderful, experience-filled life for which I am very, very grateful.  However, there have been changes and challenges that showed up unexpectedly leaving me completely overwhelmed.  From Marriage to parenting, numerous home/city moves, family challenges, occupational changes, and unexpected tragedies I have often felt caught off-guard and ill-prepared.

I have had amazing conversations with so many great women who have found themselves over-whelmed by the situations that have come into their lives as well. Like me, many have faced numerous unanticipated challenges and have often wondered if they have the strength to navigate the challenge well.

At 54, I have enough hindsight to understand that this is what life truly is.  Life is a mixed bag of joy and sadness, celebration and challenge. Every season is different and requires a few key elements to strengthen us along the way:

1.  Knowing and trusting that God will not leave us in the midst of an over-whelming season but rather He will give us strength, wisdom, and comfort.

2.  Being surrounded by people we love and trust: our spouses, healthy family members, and hand-picked friends whom we trust.  Facing challenges in isolation can be devastating. Fight the urge to withdraw; stay connected.

3.  Doing all we can to care for our health:  rest, good food, exercise, reading, time in nature~~ intentionally choosing cup-filling activities to keep our emotions above water.

4.  Taking time to Journal. We don’t always feel strong, We don’t always feel full of hope. Over the years my journals have been filled with prayers and thankfulness but they have also been full of honest questions, doubts, fears, and tears.  Simple honesty has helped to diffuse my emotions.

5. Keeping balanced in our perspectives.  Often times when challenges come we lose sight of all that is still good and right. We can find ourselves getting caught in fear and negativity. In hard times it helps if we can try to focus on the good growth we are experiencing.  I have never walked through a tough season without gaining greater empathy for others, being stretched in my faith, and having a chance to mature in my own character.

Consider your pattern when challenges come.  How do you respond?  How well have you navigated tough situations in the past?   I hope that this simple “conversation” gives you some fresh tools to stand strong when unexpected changes come!

I love this verse!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you”   Deuteronomy 31:6

Will you really be here for the holidays?

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I love this time of year as I gear up for all of my favorite holidays in the coming months.  I anticipate celebrations with friends and family, parties to host and attend, gifts to purchase, wrap, and deliver, & lots of food to prepare. I know it will be a full season of wonderful variables.

However, in the midst of a busy holiday season I am still working, writing, and carrying on with all the responsibilities I normally have on a day to day basis. I face the question; “How can I be fully present in this season rather than being so task driven that I actually miss the valuable moments that come my way? Every year I hear myself saying, “Goodness, the holidays went by so fast!

Whether you’re feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated as you anticipate the holiday season ahead, it’s easy to lose perspective about what’s most important and valuable to you–your relationships!

Truth is we all spend most of our time in the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through today’s moments on the way to somewhere else and, in doing so, we miss the present moment. That’s how these meaningful memories can end up passing us by!

Benefits of Being in the Moment

  1. Increased enjoyment: We will find that we enjoy life more if we’re fully present rather than having our minds elsewhere. Food tastes better, I have more fun with my family, work is more enjoyable, and laughter is sweeter when I experience them UN-distracted!
  2. Reduced stress. Worrying about the past and future can give us stress. Choosing to give ourselves permission to slow down and focus on “Today” can alleviate the stress of past regrets and the uncertainties of the future.
  3. Better relationships. When we really commit ourselves to being with someone, to listening to them,we are being a better family member, friend, teammate, and even spouse. We have better conversations. We bond with those around us!

“Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories.” — Cathy Allen

Enjoy the coming months to the fullest. Slow down and intentionally choose not to be so “busy-minded” but rather give yourself permission to be fully present each day!

…and may this be a very special Holiday season for you!

I Can’t Breath!

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When the door to the plane closes you will always hear the words ” …and when the oxygen mask falls make sure you put the mask on yourself before attempting to help someone else with theirs.” We get so used to hearing the steward/stewardess say these words that we may not truly understand what a profound life principal this is!

As a former Pastor’s wife and presently a Life Coach I have often found myself attempting to serve and help others when I am depleted myself. This kind of service to others is not sustainable.  I become weary, overwhelmed, and even resentful of the very people I have been caring for.

I have learned a great deal about self care over the bast 10 years and have been practicing giving myself needed permission to take time to re-fuel and re-charge my energy with rest, recreation, reciprocal relationships, and spiritual renewal.

Serving others is such a worthy focus for all our lives; there is great joy in making a difference in our families, communities, and even the world. However, we cannot consistently give out of an “empty cup”.

Assess your life today.  Are you depleted of “oxygen”? Do you need permission to take time for your own self-care? Permission granted!! What can you change today that would help you re-charge and refuel? Exercise? Earlier bedtime? Quality food? Time alone? Time with God?

Just like it is expressed on the plane~If there isn’t air in YOUR lungs you cannot give good oxygen to anyone else.

Mark 12:31 says;  Love your neighbor AS yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than this.”     (not INSTEAD of yourself – 🙂   )

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Are They Random or Divine?

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Have you ever gone to the grocery store, coffee shop, gas station, or medical office with the intent to accomplish your personal tasks when “out of the blue” you run into someone and find yourself in a short yet richly meaningful conversation?

In those encounters have you ever felt you were a meaningful source of encouragement or that you yourself walked away richly encouraged? I have!  Throughout my life I have had many of these moments that left me pondering, scratching my head and thinking “wow, I didn’t expect that today!”

I imagine I may have missed so many of these “unique connections” over the years simply by keeping a schedule so tight that I don’t even think I took time to look at those around me at all~~no margins to care.

Lately I have been trying to change the way I hustle through my day.  I have been trying to look people in the eye, to smile, or to engage in small chatter as I move through my tasks.  I have tried to choose to really listen, to care enough to pay attention and in doing so I have come to an interesting conclusion.

It appears to me that nothing happens by chance, in fact I believe these encounters are sacredly divine. In a world of disconnect, I suspect that God desires that people find connection throughout their days enough to orchestrate it, IF we are paying attention!  I find this exciting, because we never know what He might do in us and through us within the hustle and bustle of our busy lives.

We all face challenges, hurts, points of sadness, loneliness, and uncertainty.  In some of my lowest points a surprise encounter with a friend or a kind stranger has turned my day around.

Think about your own life…..Has God arranged some of these moments for you?  Imagine what God could do if we were all fully committed to watching and making room in our schedules for those moments!

Next time you go to the grocery store, test my theory and look someone in the eye, smile, and see what God might do! 🙂

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Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Why Wait?

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So often people wait until someone passes away to tell them of their value; of their impact. I have seen in the news that many express their adoration, respect, and love for people AFTER their lives have ended.  Why do we do this??  I have been pondering this lately.

My parents are very much alive; for this I am so incredibly thankful!!! Their friendship and impact on my life is truly immeasurable! I am going to allow you into my heart as I express my feelings, my thoughts to them while they are vital and healthy~~I will not wait until it becomes an obituary!

Mom and Dad, David and Beverly Wray~~~I love you.

More than loving you; I respect you. I could never ask for parents with greater love, richer hearts, sweeter spirits, and a tenacity to love others than YOU!

How I got so blessed, so fortunate to have you as my parents is a real mystery for which I will be eternally grateful!

Thank you for loving God and for accepting Christ as your Savior! That decision alone impacted my life more than you can ever know.

Thank you for being willing to allow black boys from Kenya to live with us in the 60’s ` in the height of Racism without caring what others might think.

Thank you for adopting my two sisters whose lives carried promise but had endured much neglect, loving them as your own and calling them your daughters~ your example and depth of love is so precious!

Thank you for a lifetime of safety, of love, of discipline, of teaching, and mostly a legacy of great faith.

I remember singing in the car, learning to cook, sewing, camping, picking apples, singing in the church choir,  and learning to play piano.

Thank you for teaching us empathy and letting us purchase and deliver gifts for those who were hurting and lonely on our street (Green Valley Road) at Christmas time.  These opportunities to love others during the holidays had HUGE impact on the person I have become.

I remember many heartfelt conversations, as well as needed challenges.  Because of your tough love at the age of 19; you helped me to grow into the woman God wanted me to be!

Mom, Solvang with you was precious. The chocolate on the side of the bathtub as you drew water for me spoke of the greatness of your love and the sensitivity of your heart!

Dad, you are my sweet spiritual mentor~~ we have shared hours and hours of conversations that have let me know two things: how deeply you love God and how richly you love me.

Mom and dad~ you have been our greatest cheerleaders, our wisest counselors, our sweetest helps in times of emotional and financial need, and the most precious grandparents to our children who completely adore you!

I love you both. I am so thankful that I get to see you, love you, talk and laugh with you whenever I want to!!! I am so very blessed!

You mean the world to me! I love you

Dianna

Is there anyone you want/need to share your heart with??? why wait??

DO IT TODAY! 🙂