loss

We can be so clumsy~

/ salciccioli / 1 Comment

oops-3

I love the Christmas season; it can be such a joy-filled time.  But, every Christmas hasn’t been a time of celebration for me; there have been a Christmas or two that have been really tough to get through. The darkest Christmas season for me was the first year after my dearly loved nephew had passed away.  My heart was broken and full of unanswered questions. Celebrating felt odd, it felt wrong.

Over the past month I have seen many blogs expressing that we need to be especially careful and mindful of those who are experiencing a Christmas season that is full of difficulty.  Sending “Merry Christmas” cards may not be the best choice.  Pictures of all our happy celebrations on Facebook might be insensitive….

Certainly, it is valuable and necessary to celebrate joy, to share love with those around us, and to express thankfulness for all the blessings in our lives BUT how do we do that while being kindly sensitive?

I don’t have all the right answers, but I think we can be clumsy.  I would never infer that we would choose to be insensitive; yet I think that we can be…especially in this season. Perhaps, if we just asked the Lord for extra wisdom He can help us navigate this season with celebration and grace.

For the mother that just lost her child, for the woman whose husband is suffering, for the family that just lost their home, for the couple whose marriage feels hopeless, and for those who are simply lonely……I will try not to be clumsy with your heart; especially in this season.  Please forgive me if I miss the mark.  😦

Celebration and Sensitivity on Mother’s Day~

/ salciccioli / 4 Comments

mothers-day-spending

This Sunday is Mother’s Day; a special time for mothers.  However, not all women face Mother’s Day with anticipation, rather they enter the day with sadness, even dread.  It’s real important that we are reminded of this and remain sensitive to the fact that not every woman’s experience with motherhood had been successful; not every experience has been joy-filled.  I have been thinking about this over the past week and ran across a blog by Amy Young; The Time Warp Wife, that expresses everything that’s been playing over and over again in my heart.  So, I’m going to “steal” her thoughts for this blog.

 Mother’s Day

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who have lost a child before their time – we acknowledge your broken heart.

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.

We remember you all on this Mother’s Day.

I have a story!

/ salciccioli / 2 Comments

I love a good story! How about you?

Over the course of my life I have found myself encouraged, inspired, challenged, humbled, and mentored through stories of real life experiences that individuals were brave enough to express. Whether the story is of hardship, pain, and loss or if the story is of courage, valor, or success~still my life has been impacted by the telling of a story.

It is remarkable the way we can learn, feel, or be moved to action by what others learn through the changes and challenges others experience in their lives. We can make good choices; even avoid pitfalls simply by hearing of the missteps  and consequences others.  I love this because WE ALL HAVE A STORY; we all have the opportunity to impact others with what our stories have taught us.

Yesterday I ran into a friend I had not seen in years, a fabulous worship leader. However, over the past 10 years she has been plagued with a disease that makes it almost impossible for her to even talk. My friend began to tell me her story, pushing out the words as best she could. She spoke of the incredible challenge and discouragement of losing the freedom to “do” what she had done for the Lord all of her life.  But, she lit up as she talked of what she has been learning and that’s when the rich nuggets of wisdom began to come forth.  I said to her “you need to write your story”.  I new that her experience would encourage fresh growth in others.

Another dear friend has battled being overweight all her life and she has been passionately diligent over the past two years to lose the weight and become a healthier and more confident woman ~  She has taken her story to her blog; honestly exposing her challenges and failures while also celebrating her wins!  I have already heard that many woman have been inspired to follow in her footsteps….to make changes because of her story!

A gal I was privileged to coach 4 years ago walked through the loss of her beloved husband while away in Hawaii celebrating their 30th anniversary; they finished snorkeling and moments later he had a heart attack right there on the beach! We spent a lot of time talking through the first 2 years of her loss; there were hard adjustments, changes, and hurts that arose through that year. Hearing how these elements made her feel helped me to more clearly understand how clumsy I can be while helping others navigate through the loss of a loved one.  Her story really helped me to grow and change.

What’s your story? We all have one ( or easily MORE than just one story).  Are you brave enough to tell it or write it?  An honest story told to the right listener or reader can be life changing!

Take time to ponder your life/ your story.  Pay attention to the nuggets of Gold you have learned from them; and at the right time…give them as away as a gift!

“LIFE” happens to everyone

/ salciccioli / 5 Comments

As a young girl in a strict thinking church denomination I can remember hearing of the illnesses or challenges in the lives of people in our church.  Conversations involving these folks would inevitably be followed with questions like, “I wonder what God is teaching them”, “they must have sin in their life” or “satan is really attacking them.”    Now, It isn’t my place to say whether those statements had any truth in those situations, yet as I watched my life and the lives of so many others I am much more reticent to attach those thoughts to someones life challenge.

I have seen hurtful and unkind people soar, while kind, giving people face challenge.  I have seen careless people experience financial blessing while frugal friends have faced financial loss.  I have seen folks who have a passion to have a large family experience pregnancy disappointments while others who are irresponsible with the children they already have appear to have a seamless time having more children.  I have watched people who focus on their physical health; making good choices in both food and exercise, face cancer or heart disease while others without concern for their health live to be 99!

“LIFE” happens to everyone.

We all face challenges in this life~ we have all looked toward heaven in wonderment asking God “but Why Lord? “.  Those who would be honest might speak of feeling abandoned by God, over-looked somehow, or perhaps have even questioned whether God exists at all.

As I interact with so many precious people on a regular basis I hear heart wrenching stories of loss and challenge. I remember last year when my nephew was so brutally taken from us all…I spent weeks crying out to God and asking “Why?”.  However, I am learning more and more that God never promised that we would be untouched by the challenges in this life.  He never expressed that an unchallenged life is proof that we belong to Him, nor that a challenged life is proof of His abandonment.

I address this simply to set the “plumb line” straight again. The Word says we will face trials and challenges, we will not always be in favor with people, we have bodies that may not be in perfect health in this life….BUT…………..

John 16:33 says; “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Romans 14 says ” Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. ”

Hebrews 13:5 says ” I will never leave you OR forsake you.”

Just those few verses alert me to the fact that He knew our questions would come; He is not surprised when we don’t understand the challenges we are facing. Yet, I imagine in those times that His compassion is over-flowing on our behalf.

As I again reflect back on those questions that often overshadow our judgement of one another as we watch each other navigate perilous waters; let’s be grace filled and slow to judge the circumstances as a “sin issue” or a “teaching opportunity ” for God.

Because….as we all know….”LIFE” happens to everyone.

If today “LIFE” is happening to you~ then I wish you His strength and grace today.

Pony in the Poop!

/ salciccioli / 3 Comments

     “There must be sin in your life!”, “God must be teaching you something”, or “God must really trust you to respond well”…..

In my formative years of my innocent faith these were the responses I often heard when the trials of life would come.  To be perfectly honest, these might be true but hard times befall all of us.  The past 3 years have caused amazing individuals to lose their homes, jobs, and personal possessions. Wonderful people have experienced sadness, challenge, and loss…..

As believers in the grace and love of Christ, what might be our best response to our challenges or the challenges of others? Let’s consider Job, dearly loved by God. Had he sinned? NO!  Did God trust him? Yes! and yet hard times came.  Naysayers attacked his belief in a God who loved him EVEN WHEN rough times came. Would we have judged his life and missed the deep love of God for him if we believed the lie that sin was the cause of his challenges?

In this season of challenge for so many we have a few choices:

First of all, GRACE….Scripture says that hard times fall on the just and the unjust. It is so important that we realize that God allows challenges in all of our lives to help us grow, to allow for miracles, and to draw us so close to Him; to let Him love us.

Another choice is to look for the “Pony in the Poop”.  What is the good in our challenge? What is He teaching us?, What can we gain from being the best version of ourselves IN THE MIDST of challenge?  As I pray I sense God’s compassion for His people as we experience the highs and lows of life on earth.

Perhaps you are facing a challenge, a loss or a heartache. May I extend to you God’s grace, my prayers, and the possibility to find a “pony in the poop” and perhaps, down the road, we will celebrate a rich new understanding of who God is through the challenges we face together!

Most of all, we serve a loving God and He is for us NOT against us…but we will face challenges and heartache in our lives….Perhaps we need to see Him and trust His abounding love for us while we walk our our trials with grace and faith!

That is my prayer for you, that is my prayer for me.

Find the “pony in the poop”.

🙂