new year

Looking Back, Looking Within, Looking Forward!

/ salciccioli / Leave a comment

download (1)

As a Coach I know that the best way to move into a new year or a new season is to reflect on the season you have been in.  A few days ago my sister shared a tool with me that asks some significantly poignant questions that I wanted to pass on to you.

Questions are key when contemplating good change; some of these questions may give you the opportunity to look deeper into the season you’ve been in and help you to set a more meaningful course for your season ahead.

Let me share a few with you:

  1.  What was the most important event that took place this past year; how did it impact you?
  2. What area has consumed your thinking, attention, and focus this past year? Have you addressed it or do I need to address it in this new year?
  3. What are the names of the people who have been the most life-giving to you this past year?  Who has sucked you dry?  What changes might you need to make?
  4. Who is your community?  Is it robust enough?
  5. How do you feel about your church experience this past year?  What about your prayer life?
  6. How many hours have you managed to sleep on an average this past year? do you need to make any changes to get the rest you need this year?
  7. What made you the happiest this past year? did you adequately celebrate the moment? how can you reproduce that experience this year?
  8. In the past year have you lived to work or worked to live?
  9. What might be your Big Hairy Audacious Goal this year? (BHAG) Something that stretches you and your faith!
  10. How can you make a difference in your community this year?

These are just a few questions to consider as you assess where you’ve been and where you’d like to go in 2019!

Happy, Happy New Year to you!

It is a New Year~What is your BHAG? Perhaps, hope?

/ salciccioli / 3 Comments

 

images

 

All my clients know that when January rolls around I will be asking them what their Big Hairy Audacious Goals will be for the coming year!! What goal or breakthrough will they focus on , believing that as they are faithful God will do the miraculous!!!

Hope is an amazing thing; it breathes life into our spirits!!  As you enter this new and amazing year; a year with no mistakes in it yet…..set your sights high, believe for miracles, look for breakthrough, find life balance amidst the busy life you live!!

Your faith, your story, your miracles with serve to encourage the hope in all those around you!! At the ripe old age of 55, I have learned that sometimes the miracles don’t get answered the way I expected!! The hope doesn’t always show up in the way I have mapped it out! But…the miracles do come and His hope does flood my soul.

This year, make hope your goal! He is with you. I wish you a wonderful- hopefilled New year!  Thanks for taking this journey called “life” with me!!

“Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air…but only for one second without hope.”

Hal Lindsey

Don’t think He doesn’t hear YOU!

/ salciccioli / 2 Comments

MomBabyDuck-1

The temperatures were rising as my friend and I made our way to one of the many pools at the resort where we were staying recently.  As we entered the gate we saw an adorable sight! A mama Duck and 4 daring, tiny ( days old) baby ducks! Really so cute!!    However, as I watched this sight for a short period of time I began to realize what was really going on.

This mama and her babies had been in the pool a really long time; too long.  Mama duck kept jumping up on the cement border of the pool, then turning to her babies in a sound that convinced me she was begging them to jump too.  The jump was too high, too far.  The babies were tired.

Well, my friend and I were so concerned so we used numerous methods to “try” and help them climb out on their own.  A pool float, and chair leaning into the pool, a pool noodle set as an angle that would have allowed them to simply walk out!  There was a way out and yet they stayed far away from these different pieces of equipment not realizing that they were there for there own good!!

Frustrated I sat in my lounge chair assuming that “nature” would figure a way out, I should let nature take it’s course.   I tried to ignore their constant peeping, tried not to acknowledge their attempts to climb out revealed by a tiny knowing splash! Ugh, I could not stand the thought of those little babies drowning on my watch!!

Florida vacation 3.12 baby ducks swimming_thumb[1]

With all the resolve I could muster I stepped into the pool determined to lift these precious little ones out of certain failure.  When they saw me coming they were so afraid, fiercely peddling those tiny feet trying desperately to get away! Didn’t they know I had a plan for their good~~ to save them???

Finally I was able to “corner” those tiny babies in my much bigger hands and lift them out to safety! Whew!  When their “feet” hit the dry pavement they scurried away into the bushes leaving the pool area! They were Free!! I was relieved.

I always consider all the life lessons around me; fiercely looking for a deeper truth hidden there and God is always faithful to reveal precious thoughts to me!!

So often we stay in unhealthy situations: relationships, jobs, or ministries because we feel we cannot find a way out. The leap seems to high, just impossible!  The Lord in His goodness often provides “escape” opportunities; ways to move out of a season that is creating undo weariness, and many times we just can’t see it! We may even see those options as something to fear! ( like the floating device the ducks “could ” have utilized but were deathly afraid of!!

We serve a compassionate God and even when we miss all the signs He will reach down and “pluck us out” of a situation and put our feet on a firmer foundation. Initially we may feel shocked or uncertain -yet hindsight will reveal the depth of His love for us!  I have seen this so many times in my life. Situations that seemed like an end was actually a fresh start on “dry ground!”.

Never imagine that your Heavenly Father is not aware of how fast you are peddling and that, like me listening to the peeps of weary babies, He misses your tears. He does not!  So I encourage you to look at your life with a fresh filter! If you recognize you are weary and a change needs to come; Trust that He is setting out tools of escape for you and if you face a dramatic ending to something unhealthy consider that with His big hands He has lifted you out of the water because His heart was breaking at your cries for help!  He can’t rest when His children weep.

Trust that if He hears you He will not leave the “pool” until He has seen you through!! He is so good.  Let that soak in! 🙂

baby-duck-walking

Giving Myself Permission in 2013~

/ salciccioli / 6 Comments

PERMISSION ~ the authorization to DO something, to permit an ACTION.

images

As I look toward the year ahead I am convinced that I don’t have a desire to create a list of New Year Resolutions; rather I am giving myself permission to think and act in a fresh way.

Giving myself “permission” allows me to shift my mindset from what I think I SHOULD do, to choosing what is right for me in this season of my life.  Doing the best thing, making good choices, and being mindful of faith and reputation are not discounted at all in this. Rather, I am giving myself the freedom to be more authentic, creative, balanced, and honest this year.

I am excited about this.

As a Life Coach I interact with many women and I often hear them say ” I just can’t seem to give myself permission to…………………..”.  So often we are fully engaged in being mothers, employees, partners, siblings, volunteers, church members, etc.  Stepping back to consider what we may truly want,  to re-ignight dreams that may have left dormant long ago, or to begin to create a different type of life schedule just feels foreign to us.  Perhaps, 2013 could be a different kind of year for you…IF you give yourself permission.

This year I give myself permission to:

1.  Set Boundaries.  Where am I needed the most?  What involvements line up with my values? For my limited amount of time, where are my gifts and talents best put to use? With this filter firmly set I give myself not to feel guilty when it is best that I say “NO” to good opportunities that would keep me from doing what is great!

2.  Have Sad Days. Seriously, sometimes I am just sad. Kids are grown, life is changing so fast, friends pass away, our economy is challenged, and there is constant uncertainty. I have a strong faith in God and His ability to care for me but life can still be challenging and confusing. Sometimes I get sad. This year I will not feel guilty for this but rather I will let myself acknowledge the sadness and take a day for some good Old Fashioned self care!

3.  Forgive.  Over the past few years I have truly begun to learn that allowing myself to forgive is a gift I give myself.  This year I give myself permission to forgive those who may have hurt me, misjudged me, or spoken ill of me. Truth be known, I have hurt others in my life ( intentionally or unintentionally), so I need the same mercy I give myself permission to give! I may move into those relationships with new cautions, but I choose to forgive.

4.  Explore New Ideas.   I have loved hearing of friends in their 40’s and 50’s who have chosen to go back to school ( nursing, teaching, etc). I love hearing about friends who have written books, run marathons, learned a new language, or have started an impacting non-profit! I give myself permission this year to do some exploring. What might be new and exciting for me? What might stretch and grow who I am? I simply give myself permission to explore!!

5. Make Some Noise.  This Christmas my mother gave me a fun, whimsical calendar!  Reading through it I was tickled by some of the writings there that captured a bit about my personality in this season.   “Now, be a good girl and don’t make waves!  That’s the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard! Not only do I plan on making waves, I am trying to figure out how to start a typhoon and really rock the world!!”   You just gotta chuckle.  However, this year I do give myself permission to be honest, to disagree when I do, and to give my honest thoughts even if they may not line up with someone else. ( Speaking the truth in love of course.)

Need to give yourself permission to make changes, re-assess your present choices and consider some new approaches?  Set aside a day in the week ahead to consider this question and bravely move forward.

Happy, wonderful New Year to you!!

Will you really be here for the holidays?

/ salciccioli / 6 Comments

I love this time of year as I gear up for all of my favorite holidays in the coming months.  I anticipate celebrations with friends and family, parties to host and attend, gifts to purchase, wrap, and deliver, & lots of food to prepare. I know it will be a full season of wonderful variables.

However, in the midst of a busy holiday season I am still working, writing, and carrying on with all the responsibilities I normally have on a day to day basis. I face the question; “How can I be fully present in this season rather than being so task driven that I actually miss the valuable moments that come my way? Every year I hear myself saying, “Goodness, the holidays went by so fast!

Whether you’re feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated as you anticipate the holiday season ahead, it’s easy to lose perspective about what’s most important and valuable to you–your relationships!

Truth is we all spend most of our time in the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through today’s moments on the way to somewhere else and, in doing so, we miss the present moment. That’s how these meaningful memories can end up passing us by!

Benefits of Being in the Moment

  1. Increased enjoyment: We will find that we enjoy life more if we’re fully present rather than having our minds elsewhere. Food tastes better, I have more fun with my family, work is more enjoyable, and laughter is sweeter when I experience them UN-distracted!
  2. Reduced stress. Worrying about the past and future can give us stress. Choosing to give ourselves permission to slow down and focus on “Today” can alleviate the stress of past regrets and the uncertainties of the future.
  3. Better relationships. When we really commit ourselves to being with someone, to listening to them,we are being a better family member, friend, teammate, and even spouse. We have better conversations. We bond with those around us!

“Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories.” — Cathy Allen

Enjoy the coming months to the fullest. Slow down and intentionally choose not to be so “busy-minded” but rather give yourself permission to be fully present each day!

…and may this be a very special Holiday season for you!

Goodbye 2011.

/ salciccioli / Leave a comment

I have had the “habit” of keeping a journal every year where I write down my thoughts, concerns, hopes, and expectations for the year ahead.  I find it fascinating to pick up an old journal and walk, again retrospectivly , through the pages of my life.  There has never been a more interesting reflection for me than my musings at the end of last year where I had penned my thoughts and hopes for 2011.  Looking at those thoughts now I am almost embarrassed by the simplicity of my words.  Looking towards a fresh year I had hoped for so many fascinating experiences and opportunities, crazy sweepstakes wins, good growth of the ministry to which we were involved, and prayers that God would safely bring Christopher home.     2011 did hold some of those elements but OH, what a difference a year makes.

* Christopher Ryan Smith did go home in 2011, but not to “our ” present home; but home to be with the Lord.

*  We moved from the home in Tumalo that was rich in memories.

*  We stepped away from Ministry Coaching International where we had served for 12 years.

At the time of my pre-2011 journal entries, I would not have imagined these events occurring.

As I have walked out the unexpected changes in my life this year I have learned a number of things about loss, change, grief, transition, family, and even friends. I have learned a great deal about myself as well and as I enter a new year I sense that I am not the same person I was last year.

With all that I have learned in one very impacting year, the greatest truth I have learned is that God is faithful.  God’s abiding love, compassion, mercy, and grace have carried me through emotions I had never navigated before.  The closeness and comfort of the presence of God has astounded me as He has held me so gently.

I have also learned, again, the power of the Word of God.  Whenever I would find myself in places of challenge, grief, or discouragement I would find great comfort and hope in the words found the Bible. For instance, Hebrews 13:5 says ” I (God) will never leave you nor forsake you”, Jeremiah 29:11 says ” For I (God) know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.”

None of us can predict what 2012 will hold. I can journal today for the year ahead of me and I can list my hopes, my vision, my dreams and my goals, just as I did last year. The exception this year is that at the very top of the list for 2012 I would pen my desire to know and trust God more; that no matter what comes my way I would be prepared to celebrate the joys or withstand the fierce winds as they blow.

I am not sad to see this year come to a close, but I am deeply grateful for the truths I have learned through the storm.

Many of us have faced incredible challenges this past year; I am certainly not alone in this.  I pray that you , too, have found a “safe place to catch your breathe and press on ” in the caring arms of a God who loves you.  I pray that as you enter a new and uncertain year ahead you will have confidence in the promise found in Hebrews 13:5.  I also pray you will have joy in the journey.

Goodbye 2011~~~pretty happy to see you go……………………

Big Hairy Audacious Goal~

/ salciccioli / 1 Comment

I imagine every leader I have had the joy of coaching would  laugh a “knowing” laugh as they read the words “Big Hairy Audacious Goals” or “BHAGS” because every year around this time we have a fresh conversation about the new year ahead.  I am someone who firmly believes in setting goals, taking action, and  pursuing new ideas.  But, a BHAG , to me, is that vision, that desire, that wish, that hope , that is simply too big for me to attain on my own.  It is something that I can get excited about but also clearly know that without outside reinforcement; it could be impossible to achieve.

This is where it can get really exciting! As we allow ourselves to have fresh, big vision, to dream, to consider outstanding possibilities – we become hope filled afresh and anew.  When we allow ourselves to ponder a “BHAG”, we keep our eyes open, watchful for the possibilities, poised and ready to move forward should the opportunities present themselves.  When we share our “BHAGS” with those we know and love, and as we begin to pray about those dreams, passions, ideas bursting in our hearts things really begin to happen; I have seen it over and over and over in the lives of those I have been privileged to serve.  What joy it has been to look back over a year, where a “BHAG” has been regularly present in the life of a leader, and with astonishment we see the fulfillment of a fantastic vision, goal, or hope.

Perhaps your Big Hairy Audacious Goal is a great job, marriage, a vacation, to write a book~~ I could go on and on…the possibilities are limitless.  When you look toward 1012 would you allow yourself to dream again, to get excited about fresh possibilities?  Write your “BHAG” down, share it with others, pray about it, and remain poised to step into the possibilities that arise……You will be astounded at the result!

Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

Matthew 7: 9-11 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Two years ago I had a Big Hairy Audacious Goal to go to France on my 50th Birthday. I talked about it, told my sister who resided in France at the time that I would see her soon, I even prayed that I would be able to have dinner in the Eiffel Tower.  Guess what? That very year one of my sisters won a trip to France and asked me to join her. What a thrill for us all as we shared precious memories in Paris and a fantastic meal in the Eiffel Tower!

What’s your BHAG for 2011?  I have some great dreams in my head and heart~ Can’t wait to see what happens. 

Believe again. 🙂